


Shining diamond

by better_times_are_coming



Series: Kids These Days [5]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Injury, Kid Fic, M/M, Parenthood, Seungcheol's parents are back again, panic attacks are mentioned briefly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 28,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22643764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/better_times_are_coming/pseuds/better_times_are_coming
Summary: Three times Chan performs (plus a few talks about life).
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: Kids These Days [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1130369
Comments: 57
Kudos: 173





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! 
> 
> If you're new to this series, I highly recommend you to go back to the first part and read it in order! I think it'll make more sense that way.   
> If not, you need to know that Jeongcheol are married and have three adopted kids, Wonwoo, Seungkwan and Chan. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Performance day always ended up being chaotic. 

It didn’t matter if they had prepared or not (even though they always _had_ ). 

It didn’t matter if they had left everything set the night before (things still went missing the morning after). 

It didn’t matter if the kids had practiced and were calm during the whole rehearsal (the backstage would always get them teary eyed and anxious, reactions that cuddles and reassurances would always fix anyways). 

So maybe today wasn’t any different. 

Maybe Jeonghan and Seungcheol should have _expected_ this to happen.

And when they meant _this_ , it was Chan’s dance teacher approaching their row of seats with a worried look on her face.

Jeonghan was the first one to stand up. 

Their usual full row looked emptier, with just the four of them. Wonwoo and Seungkwan had gotten school permission to attend, but the rest of their family had to work and couldn’t manage to come to the presentation (Soonyoung and Jihoon were in the middle of album preparations, and Mingyu and Minghao were two days away from their photo exhibition). 

Which was good, well, initially Channie had teared up when he realized his uncles weren’t attending (especially Uncle Soonyoung), but Jihoon had swiftly reminded Soonyoung that they couldn’t make it this time and would come on the next morning to have breakfast and see Chan’s performance in person. 

Chan had seemed to calm down after that, but considering the teacher’s expression now… 

“That can’t be good.” Seungkwan whispered worriedly, from Seungcheol’s side and Seungcheol only patted his thigh in response, trying not to freak out because the kids would do too. 

Also because Seungkwan had appeared in _lots_ of school performances already and he knew how nerve-wracking it was. 

As soon as the teacher fully approached their side, she leaned down enough so they wouldn’t disturb the rest of the audience, and her eyes met with Jeonghan’s (who was ready to leave, if he was being honest with himself). 

“Chan’s saying he doesn’t want to do it.” She explained gently, her kind smile hiding her nervous tone, and Seungcheol already felt a little bad for her. Adjusting to school had been _hard_ for Chan, and Jeonghan and Seungcheol really admired his teacher’s patience. Also she had like _thirty_ kids to worry about, it was a shame that Chan was giving her even more work. “He’s really upset and we’re presenting in fifteen minutes, can you please help me calm him down?” 

Wonwoo let out a small sound, clutching the camera on his hand, but Seungkwan turned to him and whispered: _don’t worry, hyung, performers are always nervous before the show!_

Certainly Seungkwan had more experience on things like these and Seungcheol really appreciated his son comforting Wonwoo, because he couldn’t think _anything_ to say right now. 

Chan was being so much more independent lately… Seungcheol was honestly surprised of this. 

Although of course they’d go there and comfort him, they’d always be there for him. 

Always. 

The teacher gave him a small pointed look and Seungcheol shook his head to get rid of his pensive mood. 

There was this other thing on the back of his mind, even though he had sent the invitations with enough anticipation, they _really_ hadn’t arrived, huh? 

He should have expected- 

“Seungcheol-ssi,” She prompted gently, before Jeonghan and Seungcheol could decide who’d be the one to go. “I think he wants you.” 

Seungcheol frowned a little at the request, _really? me?_ because it wasn’t like Chan wouldn’t usually want him… but when he needed comfort in situation like these, he’d usually come to Jeonghan. 

His eyes immediately looked for his husband’s reaction, in case he felt wounded (Jeonghan pretend not to get hurt when one of the kids asked for one person specifically, and that person wasn’t him), but Jeonghan seemed unconcerned. 

Oh well. 

“I’ll…” Seungcheol started and Jeonghan sat down, patting the small of his back so he’d stand up instead.

“You’ll make him feel better. Go.” Jeonghan completed for him and Seungcheol suddenly felt like an inexperienced parent and he were trying to control one of the first kid’s tantrums on a supermarket. 

What if he didn’t manage to calm Chan at all?

He had done this years ago with Seungkwan on his talent show, but Chan was different, all of them were and- 

“Han, are you sure-”

“Babe, we’re keeping the show from starting.” Jeonghan reminded him, not unkindly. “You got this. Go.” 

On unsteady feet, Seungcheol stood up, glancing at their kids with a small tight smile. 

“I’ll be right back, don’t worry.” 

Today wasn’t really his day, ever since the first time in the morning he had been nervous, doubtful, _anxious_ and he knew exactly why. 

He couldn’t let the children notice it, but of course Jeonghan already knew. 

Seungcheol followed the teacher hurriedly, trying to push his antsy mood away for the sake of his youngest. 

He wasn’t sure things would go _perfectly_ well, but he trusted their little one. 

He’d give a good performance. 

Chan had practiced. 

He’d make it. 

He’d make _it_. 

The reassuring smile Jeonghan had given him as Seungcheol stood up was a good enough reminder he was a good parent and he could do this. 

By the time he reached the backstage, excited yelling and background music filling his ears, Seungcheol was already calmer, feeling ready to comfort their son. 

***

Seungcheol didn’t even need to _look_ for Chan. 

As soon as he had set one foot on the backstage, he felt the familiar tug on the back of his shirt and his boy was up on his arms in a second. 

A whimper followed. 

Suddenly Seungcheol forgot everything about his missed guests and Chan’s mismatched socks (they were supposed to be black and white striped socks, but they had only found _one_ so he was currently wearing a striped one and a white one). 

This was his son, and he got this. 

He knew. 

“Appa,” Chan whimpered, clinging into him for dear life. Seungcheol closed his eyes for a second, just holding him close, breathing in the smell of his hair, making sure to rub his back up and down to soothe his shaky breathing. “Please, I don’t want to.” 

Seungcheol shushed him gently, a knot starting to form in his throat after hearing his son's distressed and _desperate_ tone. 

Usually he wouldn’t get emotional _this_ fast, but today… 

“I don’t want-want to.” Chan’s fingers clutched to Seungcheol’s shirt and he hid on the crook of his neck, as he always did whenever he was upset. 

It broke Seungcheol’s heart. 

The sounds of adults whispering around them (kids weren’t as half as judgemental) tickled Seungcheol’s ears, but he ignored them, deciding to focus on his son. 

Usually he’d wait for Chan to calm down before trying to talk to him, but they had like ten minutes or so? 

He needed to calm him down soon. 

The performance wouldn’t wait for him. 

“Baby,” he started, pressing his lips against Chan’s forehead, rubbing his back, up and down. Slowly. Methodically. “Channie.” 

This soothing motion _always_ worked, and Seungcheol often wondered if it had to do with the fact that they had always done it, ever since Chan had been a toddler. 

“I’d never make you do something you didn’t want to, baby. Not unless I had to, for your own good.” He explained gently, he had the feeling Chan was already listening, even though he was still getting Seungcheol’s shirt wet with tears and snot. 

The grip on his shirt tightened reflexively and Seungcheol pressed another absent kiss on the top of his son’s head.

“Tell appa why won’t you dance, hm?” 

Chan kept sniffling, clinging to him as if he couldn’t _breathe_ otherwise, and Seungcheol simply waited. 

One. 

Two.

Three.

Four. 

Five. 

Right, different strategy. 

“Okay, I’m going to put you down so you can talk to your teacher.” Seungcheol offered, slowly shifting him on his hold. Chan kept his arms wrapped tight around his neck. “Okay, _okay_ -stay where you are.” He choked, when Chan’s little hands accidentally cut off his air supply as soon as he tried to bend down. 

This was going to be harder than he thought. 

Seungcheol suppressed a sigh, even though deep down he knew he was too endeared to get mad. Despite that, he could already feel the tip of his ears burning, people were _staring_ , and Seungcheol always found it harder to deal with people’s comments and expectations. 

He felt called out. 

_why can’t you calm down your child_

“That’s it, baby koala.” He whispered fondly, with a small smile, trying to ignore all the staring coming their way. 

Privacy wasn’t a luxury they could afford right now, the backstage filled with like sixty children and teachers and a few parents helping with last minute preparations.

Although no child was sobbing on his parents’ arms, but oh well. 

“Can you look at your classmates?” He gently caressed Chan’s cheek, so the boy would look up and around. Tears were still rolling down, wetting his white shirt and his leather jacket, still it wasn’t like his costume would get ruined, but Seungcheol really did want him to stop crying, it was breaking his heart. “Look at them, they’re all preparing, they look like they’re having fun. Wanna join them too?” 

Chan shook his head, refusing to acknowledge it. 

Ah, he was a stubborn one, but Jeonghan and Seungcheol were his role models, what else could you expect? 

“Look, look,” Seungcheol didn’t lose his resolve, frantically searching for something else, _anything_ so Chan would stop crying. “That’s your friend… that’s... what was her name-um, Seungyeon, right, baby?” 

That was Chan’s _wife_ , if the Jeju trip was any indication. 

He had seen the girl a few times, but she was easily recognisable. 

The six year old looked like a whole star, she was twirling in the middle of the makeshift dressing room, a focused expression on her baby features. 

Of course it’d make sense that Chan would feel interested in her. 

“That’s the friend you told us about, right? Seungyeon?” He asked gently. 

He didn’t want to be the type of parent that teased his children about their crushes (Wonwoo would get _bright red_ and it was the cutest), he wanted the kids to trust him and tell him things. 

Besides Chan was _six_ , it was a child’s infatuation. 

The boy nodded against his shoulder and Seungcheol’s arms started to cramp for holding him for too long. 

But he was getting somewhere, Chan’s crying had subdued a little. 

“Yeah, she’s nice, isn’t she?” Seungcheol asked gently, not wanting to be the parent that teased their child about their friends… well, maybe when said kid was older, but not now. 

“... She’s pretty too.” Chan’s small tone added, he sounded shy and kind of broken and Seungcheol resisted the urge to coo out loud, instead pressed a big kiss on Chan’s warm cheek. 

He was the most adorable, wasn’t he?

Cutest. 

Ever. 

“She’s pretty too, okay, baby.” 

Chan sniffed, his crying finally stopping and Seungcheol’s eyes met with the teacher, and she signalled him that only four minutes were left. 

Okay.

He needed to hurry. 

“Wanna join her? And the rest of your classmates, hm? To dance?” He urged, patting Chan’s back and making the motion of setting him down. 

Chan let out a panicked squeal and he rushed to come back to his dad’s arms, pulling at Seungcheol’s shirt so he’d pick him up properly again. 

“Appa, no, no, _no_. Everyone’s _looking_.” He whispered, voice breaking at the last word. “What if I fall-I don’t want to-” And the rest dissolved into sobs. 

Okay then. 

Back to his old strategy. 

“Oh, baby don’t cry, Appa’s right here.” Seungcheol reminded him gently, reaching out to fix his fringe away from his eyes. Seungcheol felt just a little devastated, he hated seeing any of his children like this, his son’s cheeks were burning from all the crying, his bangs sticking to his forehead, his lower lip wobbling uncontrollably, all in all, his face was a whole mess.

He thought he might be getting somewhere but now Chan was back to sobbing again… 

He didn’t know where he stood between the _kids should do things anyway even if they’re scared_ or _don’t push your kids._

How was he supposed to just _know_ when to insist or when to leave it be?

But when he saw his poor baby boy, dried tears on his cheeks, hiccupping from crying and clutching to him like he couldn’t breathe otherwise, he _knew_ that there was no way in hell he was making him go on in that stage.

Teacher and performance and appariences be damned. 

All their kids had already suffered enough for a lifetime, he wasn’t about to put their mental health in stake for a stupid show.

Besides, Chan _adored_ to dance, he wasn’t about to ruin the first experience he had with it. 

Oh, that was his answer then.

“Want us to go home instead? Look, Jeonghannie-appa is right there, we can talk to him and we’ll come back home.” He offered gently. As the first beats of music started, Chan sniffled, eyes fixed on the group of kids that were entering the stage. 

Not only Chan fell silent, he even stopped crying. 

There were a number of different dances and Chan took part on most of them, he was already missing the first one. 

Seungcheol let him observe, wondering what was going on through his mind. And if it were Jeonghan instead of him, maybe his husband would have find a way to cheer him up and give him courage instead of offering to leave. 

He had no idea if he was doing it correctly.

With Wonwoo they never had this kind of situation, he hated to perform, and with Seungkwan… he needed to be reminded that he could do it and he would, but with Channie… he really didn’t know.

What if this wasn’t the right choice? 

“Appa,” Chan mumbled, Seungcheol’s eyes went from the kids dancing to his son, he was sucking on his thumb, an habit he took comfort it sometimes. Seungcheol gently pulled it away and sighed in relief when Chan let him. “Will you stay?” 

“Of course, baby.” 

He’d _always_ stay. Especially if Chan asked him like this. 

“Can you go with me?” He whispered shyly, against Seungcheol’s shoulder, and Seungcheol almost missed it. 

“Sure, baby, I’d do anything to-” Then Chan’s words caught up on his head. “ _Wait_ , you mean to… to _dance?”_

“Yes, appa.” Chan looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears and lower lip jutting out, pouting. “ _Please_?” 

Oh, _no_. 

***

“But _Jeonghannie._ ” 

Jeonghan liked to believe he was immune to Seungcheol pouting after all these years, but _no_ , it still stirred something in his heart. 

(Not that he’d let it show, of course). 

Now, by the way Wonwoo and Seungkwan were snickering behind Jeonghan, they _were_ immune to it, and they were having _fun_ at seeing their dad like that. 

“I don’t know how to dance, it’s so embarrassing.” Seungcheol whispered, cheeks heating up and eyes traveling from the backstage (where Chan was giving him a pointed look) to his husband, who wore an apprehensive expression. 

And Seungcheol _knew_ what it meant. 

It was his ‘do-it-for-the-children’ expression and _no_ , Seungcheol was _not_ about to dance in front of half of their kids’ school. 

Even if his husband was looking at him like _that_. 

And! 

_And_ Seungcheol knew exactly what Jeonghan would say next, his typical phrase of- 

“Come on, Cheol, this is-” _for Channie._ “For Channie.”

 _See_!!! 

“But Han.” Seungcheol’s tone softened, because he’d do anything for their children, like anything at all, but… but that didn’t mean that… 

“ _But_ you saw him practice.” Jeonghan interrupted before Seungcheol could start with a long thread of complaints, because they didn’t have the _time_ , the show was literally about to start. “So I can’t do it, can I?” He reasoned and _damn_ , he was right. 

(He always was). 

Seungcheol _had_ seen him more, considering that ever since Jeonghan started his new job, he could eat breakfast with the kids, but he’d get home during the afternoon. 

(Chan always practiced just after his afternoon nap). 

So Seungcheol had seen, had helped, had commented on Chan’s dance. 

But it didn’t mean that he could suddenly dance on it. It didn’t mean- 

“But I-” 

“No buts, he called you, he _needs_ you.” 

“Hannie,” He whined, and for the second time today noticed Seungkwan and Wonwoo having _fun_ with this whole situation.

Why _him_?

“Cheol, there will be a time when we can’t hold their hands and help them, but now we can.” Jeonghan said, his logic thinking clearly affecting Seungcheol who looked down and nodded. 

Maybe he was being a little childish right now. 

This was important to Channie. He should help. 

“Fine.”

Jeonghan’s smile widened and he turned to look at his snickering children.

“Appa’s so brave, isn’t he?” Jeonghan praised, patting Seungkwan’s shoulder. “Wish him good luck, okay?” 

A chorus of _good luck, appa!_ and _break a leg!_ followed and a grumpy Seungcheol finally left again, heading for the backstage once more. 

Silence followed between the three, just until Seungcheol was out of earshot. 

“You only said that to him because _you_ didn’t want to dance, appa.” Seungkwan scolded gently, crossing his arms against his chest. “You helped Channie a lot with the choreography, you knew the dance by heart.” 

Jeonghan almost rolled his eyes at how defensive was Seungkwan of Seungcheol, he had always been. 

(Cute, but not right now).

“ _Seungkwannie_ , how could you say that?” Jeonghan placed a hand over his chest and parted his lips, shocked by his son’s statement. 

To be honest, he was amazed by Seungkwan’s ability to see right through his crap. 

That would be worrying once he became a teenager. 

“Don’t worry, appa.” Wonwoo said, rolling his eyes a little (Wonwoo _was_ a teenager right now). “I haven’t started recording, so this conversation stays between the three of us.”

Jeonghan’s smile grew, _yes_ , the kids were protective over Seungcheol, but they were also loyal to him. 

(Which worked wonderfully for him in this situation). 

“Great.” Jeonghan clapped his hands as if to settle the subject. “Now let’s pay attention to Channie and appa’s performance, shall we?” He added, only with a little mirth.

***

“So… Channie,” Performance was _over_ and Seungcheol fixed his rearview mirror to look at their son. He seemed happy, munching on a banana as he hummed on one of the songs he had danced to today. “What did we learn today?” 

“My plié wasn’t _perfect_ , needs to be more elegant,” Chan chanted easily, and Jeonghan couldn’t say he was surprised by the six year old’s statement, he _was_ a perfectionist when dance was involved. “The ballroom dance was okay, Jiwon stepped on my foot though!” 

Jeonghan couldn’t help but to let out an amused chuckle, reaching out to pat Chan’s thigh so he’d continue. 

“I really wanted Seungyeon to be my partner,” He whined, and the image of a eight year old Seungcheol immediately came to Jeonghan’s head. They were _so_ similar when they were pouting. “She looked… pretty.” He added in a whisper, cheeks burning as he did so. 

Before Seungkwan could even part his lips to tease his baby brother, Jeonghan gave him a warning look. 

As he kept his eyes on the road, Seungcheol couldn’t exactly see his son, but his tone could already tell him how he looked (pouting) and he really wanted to coo out loud at that, until he got the _look_ as well, so he closed his mouth. 

“She was, wasn’t she?” Jeonghan shifted as long as his seatbelt would allow him to and petted Chan’s cheek gently. 

His baby had a crush. 

Wasn’t he adorable? 

“Anything else that you learned today, baby?” 

The six year old hummed in thought. 

“If I don’t want to dance it’s fine.” Chan added, a little distracted already. “It’s okay to be scared.”

Ah, those were _excellent_ lessons.

All of them reinforced by Seungcheol. 

Jeonghan reached out to hold his husband’s hand, filled with a sense of pride and affection towards him. 

“And oh!” 

“What else, Channie?” Wonwoo asked, noticing his brother’s insight. 

“Appa needs dance lessons.” He said, with a serious nod. 

“That’s right, you-” Seungcheol started, thinking of the other stuff (the important stuff) that Chan had mentioned first. Then his mind caught up with everything. “ _Hey_ , wait a second. I was there with you the whole time! Why would you say something like that about appa?” He whined. 

Chan and Seungkwan were immediately dissolving into laughter. 

_Such traitors_ , Seungcheol thought, still pouting. 

“He wasn’t so bad.” Wonwoo added, trying not to smile (or laugh, because he knew Seungcheol would feel bad if he did so. 

_Aw_ , his baby. He knew he could trust him! 

“You covered your eyes the whole time, hyung.” Seungkwan exposed, with no shame at all. 

Seungcheol would have snickered if they weren’t laughing about _him_ in the first place. 

“I… well, I-” Wonwoo stuttered, he always got worked up when he got caught. “I was embarrassed, okay?” 

Laughter from all four of them followed (Seungcheol was way too embarrassed to laugh it off just yet, did he even have anyone at his side?). 

The fun fest didn’t last though, because all of them caught Seungcheol’s reaction, and their empathic side pushed through. 

“Thank you for joining me.” Chan. 

“Sorry for laughing, appa, you were cool!” Seungkwan. 

“You tried your best, appa.” Wonwoo. 

Seungcheol couldn’t help but to smile then.

They had raised them right, hadn’t they? 

Jeonghan’s hand squeezed his and Seungcheol turned, just for a moment. 

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.” Jeonghan whispered, and _God_ , if it made Seungcheol’s heart flutter. 

Jeonghan’s tone and expression was genuine and heat traveled to Seungcheol’s cheeks. 

His husband. 

Love of his life. 

“Ugh, appa! What did we say about kissing in the _car_!” 

***

Their usual bickering didn’t stop until they made it home. 

Jeonghan kept commenting about how wonderful Chan had been, and Seungkwan was criticizing the costume choice of some of the performances, Wonwoo adding some small comments from time to time as Channie kept talking excitedly about _all_ of his Uncles coming tomorrow to see him dance. 

Seungcheol for once decided to just listen in. 

Things had gone well in the end, right? 

He was so proud of his little boy. 

The day had started weird and filled with worries, but as it went on, and he had the chance to see Chan do something he loved. 

He was feeling thankful of having them see grow up in these wonderful kind, talented human beings.

The warm feeling on his chest didn’t last though, because as he pulled over the car over their entrance, he noticed something that made his stomach drop. 

There was an unfamiliar car on the driveway. 

On _their_ driveway. 

Just as the sense of dread started to pool deep on Seungcheol’s belly, because it couldn’t be, could it? 

“Oh! Halmeoni!” Seungkwan smiled, quickly opening the car door and running inside as he confirmed Seungcheol’s suspicions.

(Seungkwan might seem like the less observant of the three, but he was very detail oriented person, _of course_ he had recognized the car they had only seen once). 

The kids had only seen Seungcheol’s parents once, on the first year anniversary after his grandmother passed away. 

Going back home had been _weird_ and awkward and overall slightly unpleasant experience, but his parents had promised that they’d try to get closer with the kids, and Seungcheol and Jeonghan had agreed. 

Even though that Seungcheol and especially his dad weren’t in the best terms right now. 

(How could he forget that his father decided to ignore his existence when he married Jeonghan?). 

Still the kids did like it there, and had a great time. 

And Seungcheol wasn’t about to fully deny them meet their grandparents. 

Seungcheol’s parents were _here_. 

In their house, for the first time. 

Chan was out of his seatbelt in a second too and he excitedly ran inside the house, following his hyung. 

Seungcheol couldn’t kick his mind into gear. 

Yes, Seungcheol had actually invited them this time, but he didn’t expect… he thought they wouldn’t… 

“Cheol-” Jeonghan started, and Seungcheol already hated the pity on his husband’s voice. 

He didn’t- 

He _just_ \- 

“Appa,” Wonwoo said carefully, trying to tread the water as he observed the house. Chan and Seungkwan had already come inside, but the eldest couldn’t bear to leave the car. 

Jeonghan thought he might be too loyal to Seungcheol to do so. 

And Jeonghan kind of wanted to congratulate him on it, even though he knew he shouldn’t encourage the kids taking sides on things like these. 

“Appa,” Wonwoo repeated, when Seungcheol’s eyes stayed fixed on the door. “Are you okay?” 

Silence hung between them for a moment and Jeonghan gave Seungcheol some time. 

A few seconds, but then Wonwoo’s expression went from pensive to worried and Jeonghan reached out to gently squeeze Seungcheol’s hand.

The reminder was enough for Seungcheol to turn and give the eldest a genuine warm smile. 

“I am,” Seungcheol said, turning to ruffle his son’s hair. “You can go, Wonwoo-yah. We’ll be right in.” 

The fourteen year old looked unconvinced, but he still obeyed, silently leaving the car and joining his younger brothers. 

As soon as the three children were out of sight, Jeonghan’s expression fell, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. 

“Cheol…”

“It’s okay-” 

Jeonghan beat him to it. 

“Baby,” Jeonghan said, tone gentler, and he reached out to caress his husband’s cheek, just until Seungcheol would look at him again. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I gave them a key… I never thought they’d actually…” His words died down and Jeonghan took a deep breath, shiting on his seat so he could kiss Seungcheol’s forehead, hold him close.

Jeonghan knew what had happened between Seungcheol and his parents, and he knew that this would be hard on him, but he’d be there for his husband. 

This was an important step for him to make. 

“Come on, we can do this.” Jeonghan assured him, pressing a kiss against Seungcheol’s closed lips. 

It took a moment for the couple to leave the car, and as soon as they were inside, Seungcheol was received with a hug, from his mother. 

He welcomed her with open arms, his body a little stiff from all the sudden tension. He had been occasionally communicating with her, so she wasn’t the problem, the problem was his father.

“We let ourselves in. Hope you don’t mind, Seungcheollie.” His mother said, once she pulled back. Seungcheol mumbled out a small _it’s okay_ , his eyes already scanning the room to look for his father. 

He was so nervous, his heart would explode. 

“Seungkwannie said he’d give him a tour around the house. And Chan insisted that he wanted to come along too.” She said, explaining his husband and the children’s absence. Seungcheol let out a small sigh in relief. 

At their side, Wonwoo was waiting to say hello, he had stood up right next to Jeonghan, when his dad had entered the house.

“Halmeoni,” Wonwoo’s expression was reserved but warm. He was clearly holding back on going over there and maybe hug her, so Jeonghan helped him out and squeezed his shoulder, reassuring him. 

Once Seungcheol and his mom had finished their exchange, Jeonghan patted his son’s back, pushing him forward gently. 

Jeonghan understood Wonwoo’s feelings.

Their son wouldn’t do anything to hurt their feelings on purpose. 

Although at the same time Jeonghan knew that Seungcheol would never _ever_ get mad at any of the children for showing affection towards his parents, it didn’t matter what things had happened in the past.

Those were _his_ unfinished businesses, not his kids’. 

When Seungcheol saw his mom hugging Wonwoo so tight, his eyes filled with tears, but he fought them back, just as Jeonghan reached out to squeeze this hand. 

He had been so cheerful, so happy for Chan and now this, it was affecting his whole mood, and he didn’t want to dwell on the past when the future was right _there_. 

“Appa, can I show her Shion please?” Wonwoo asked and Seungcheol tried to get rid of his pensive mood, giving him a small smile instead. 

“Of course.” 

As soon as they left, Seungcheol closed his eyes, hearing the distinct sound of his father’s voice on the second floor, Chan and Seungkwan interrupting each other to explain it ‘better’. 

He was trying not to panic.

This was supposed to be a good situation, _he_ had invited his parents. This was supposed to happen. 

He couldn’t help but to feel nervous, to feel invaded in his own house. “It’s going to be okay,” Jeonghan’s voice interrupted his troubled thoughts and Seungcheol opened his eyes, the reminder that he was not alone in this making him feel all warm inside. “I promise.”

Seungcheol smiled, reaching out to squeeze his hand. 

If Jeonghan'd promised, then he had no choice but to believe him. 

***

“You’re the oldest.” 

Wonwoo’s heart stopped in his chest. 

(Well, not actually stopped, otherwise he’d have died, but you get the metaphor). 

The thing about Wonwoo was that… he wasn’t very good with strangers.

He had few friends, didn’t talk a lot with teachers, and the only adults he ever interacted with were his Uncles, but they didn’t count. 

(As Wonwoo started to grow up, he realized how childish they were, but it was okay, they were lovable and nice to him). 

This was a real adult.

An actual one.

And he didn’t look very nice. 

And _now_ he was talking to him. 

In private. 

Wonwoo took a deep breath, turning from where he was organizing his books. 

He had talked with grandma a lot and he liked her, but grandpa… 

Also was that even a question? Of course he was the oldest, he was a head taller than his younger brothers. 

“Yes.” He replied, eyes fixed on the floor. 

“Are you surprised we came?” His grandfather asked and even though he remembered Seungcheol telling them that someday they might come to visit, he definitely didn’t expect it, however he shook his head gently. “I’m being too intimidating, right?” 

Wonwoo wouldn’t dare to reply to that, because that would certainly disrespect him. 

“You aren’t, harabeoji.” 

He really felt uncomfortable. 

When they went to Daegu in the beginning of the year, the atmosphere was weird, he remembered Seungcheol-appa being tense, and he even saw him cry. 

He had no idea if he had cried because he missed his grandmother, or something else though. 

“You’re a quiet one, aren’t you?” 

“Not really.” He _was_ intimidated. 

He knew that there was a reason why Seungcheol-appa would avoid meeting with this man… and he knew that after all these years it had probably been for the best.

This change didn’t settle well on his stomach. 

Had things changed?

He didn’t fully understand.

Why were they meeting Seungcheol’s family just now?

Why was his grandfather pushing so much? Did he want Wonwoo to like him back?

Was this the only way to approach him?

Was he trying to make up for something?

Maybe if he and his brothers liked his grandparents, his grandad though that Seungcheol would forgive him or whatever he had done. 

“Are you afraid appa won’t want you?” Wonwoo asked, waiting for a second and then just listening of what he had just said. _Disrespectful_ , the little voice inside his head chimed in. “Harabeoji.” 

This was weird, he felt protective of Seungcheol-appa, he knew he didn’t have to, this was grown up stuff. But he was already _fourteen_ too. 

“Why would I be afraid of that?” His grandfather’s response came back, voice tight and it stirred something on Wonwoo’s belly. 

_Shut up_. 

He looked down, thoughts of his own childhood predicaments flooding his mind, first nothing, then foster, then the Angel House, then _nothing_ , then Jeonghan-appa, then a new house, then Seungcheol-appa. 

Seungcheol. 

_are you afraid appa won’t want you?_

He recalled feeling so anxious whenever Seungcheol seemed to like other kids, what if he liked those kids more? What if Seungcheol-appa had changed his mind about wanting _him_? What if he convinced Jeonghan and- 

_I was afraid of that once too_ , Wonwoo wanted to say, but his eyes got teary eyed at just the thought of voicing such a vulnerable statement to an almost stranger. 

His sudden change of mood didn’t go unnoticed by his grandfather, and the adult came closer, just as Wonwoo stepped back. 

Maybe he wanted to pat his shoulder or hug him, Wonwoo didn’t know. 

_If you haven’t done anything wrong, then there’s nothing to be afraid of, harabeoji_. He wanted to say, but he couldn’t. 

If his grandfather had done nothing wrong, if he didn’t have any regrets, why was he trying to make up now?

But Wonwoo couldn’t voice his thoughts to anyone right now. 

He didn’t want to make Seungcheol-appa look more nervous, or make Jeonghan-appa upset. 

Wonwoo was nervous, intimidated in a way he usually wasn’t. 

It was uncomfortable. 

“I just remembered I need to help with dinner preparations.” He said quickly, bowing gently, ready to flee.”If you’ll excuse me.” 

If his grandfather wanted to say something else, Wonwoo didn’t let him, leaving the living room as fastly as he could. 

***

_it’s going to be okay, I promise_

That’s what Jeonghan had said.

And he had believed it.

So _why_ didn’t he have a good feeling as he felt someone’s eyes on him and he turned to see his father-in-law standing right behind him, in the doorway of the bedroom.

Of _their_ bedroom. 

Seungcheol’s mom was making dinner and Chan and Seungkwan had offered to help, and Seungcheol and Wonwoo had gone shopping to buy some snacks for tomorrow’s showcase (Chan was delighted to show _everyone_ his dance). 

And Jeonghan had been preparing the bedroom so they’d stay here and Seungcheol and he would crash on the couch. 

“How’s the new work coming along?”

Jeonghan’s cheeks tinged red. 

He had no idea they _knew_. 

Only his closest friends and his family were aware, how could they know?

Had Seungcheol told them?

Well, of course he had, but when? 

It had been such a difficult decision to make, and well, it was only logical after what had happened with Seungkwan last year… he was overworked, stressed, exhausted. 

And he could barely see the kids and his husband. 

“I… Everything’s okay, Mr. Choi.” 

He barely had four months in, but he was already enjoying how he had more time to spend with the kids, he had breakfast with them every morning, and he’d arrive just before dinner every night. 

He also didn’t stay overtime, and well… the pay was… 

“Does it pay the bills?” 

Jeonghan’s cheeks went even redder despite himself. 

_Yes_ , he didn’t make as much as money as before. 

But where the conditions better? 

Was he happier?

Yeah, and if this new work would allow him to see his three babies and husband more, he’d stay _forever._

“I-” 

“I just guessed that Seungcheol’s editing job wouldn’t suffice on its own.”

“He suffices more than enough.” Jeonghan replied, before his brain could catch up with his words. His jaw was tight, already tense even though this conversation had only lasted a few seconds. 

Way to fuck up.

He had been trying not to be on edge, so the kids would be calm and relaxed, but apparently he _was_ on the edge. 

He just didn’t understand why Seungcheol’s dad had to be so demeaning towards Seungcheol. 

When he was going to add something, maybe say something to make it sound less harsh, he saw Seungcheol’s dad promptly close his mouth, eyes fixed on the hallway instead of inside the bedroom, where Jeonghan was. 

Jeonghan frowned, taken aback by the sudden change of demeanor on his father-in-law’s face. 

Then he realized his eyes were trained somewhere else.

Jeonghan dared to step forward, catching his ten year old son with a serious expression on his face, he had probably been walking towards the room, and they didn’t hear him. 

Oh no.

How much time had he been there?

How much had he heard?

“Harabeoji.”

“Seungkwan,” Jeonghan started, even before his son would. 

Because he knew him, and he knew he wasn’t oblivious to everything that was happening here.

This could only mean that this wouldn’t end well and Jeonghan didn’t want Seungkwan to get involved. He shouldn’t have been hearing this in the first place. 

“You’re not supposed to tell appa those things, harabeoji." Seungkwan said calmly, and Jeonghan's heart picked up speed, oh _damn_. "You haven’t been here, you don’t know how hard they’ve worked.” 

There was a beat of silence and a sense of both dread and _pride_ filled Jeonghan’s chest. 

He wanted to say, _atta, boy_ and at the same time, he knew that they had taught the kids not to get involved in adult stuff.

Seungkwan was _so_ mature though. 

How could he even say out loud what Jeonghan had been trying to articulate on his own thoughts? 

“Seungkwannie-” Jeonghan started again, apprehensive, but his father-in-law interrupted him. 

“You shouldn’t be listening in, Seungkwan-ah.” He said, calmly, even after being called out by a ten year old. 

A moment passed and Jeonghan held his breath as the man approached Seungkwan. 

“But you’re right, I haven’t seen anything, haven’t I?” He replied, mostly to himself. 

But Seungkwan looked undeterred, shrugging a little. 

“Halmeoni said that she needed you to taste something, come on.” Seungkwan tugged on his grandfather’s sleeve and the adult followed after a moment of hesitation. 

The amazing thing was that Seungkwan could literally hold a grudge for _years_ , if he wanted to. 

But apparently he was deciding not to _right now_?

Or maybe he was just physically dragging Seungcheol’s father away from Jeonghan.

And Jeonghan was thankful. 

Right now he needed some peace of mind, otherwise he wouldn’t make it until tonight’s dinner. 

Jeonghan’s soul came back to his body when grandfather and grandson kept chatting down the hallway as if nothing had happened and then they were gone.

He let out a breath in relief. 

This was going to be a _long_ dinner. 

***

Dinner started awkward. 

Jeonghan was sure that Wonwoo already knew about what had just happened between Seungkwan and Seungcheol’s dad, and therefore he knew that Seungcheol’s father had _said_ to Jeonghan, because he couldn’t even bear to look at his grandad. 

Seungcheol was _really_ quiet which was worrying, and Jeonghan hadn’t even told him what his dad had said to him… Jeonghan didn’t know if he ever could. 

Seungkwan was sulky, which wasn’t uncommon, but it was adding to the tension. 

Jeonghan had _never_ been more uncomfortable (well, maybe the first time he had to tell someone he liked a _boy_ ). 

And Chan. 

Oh, Chan, blissfully innocent. 

Chan seemed to be the only one oblivious to all the tension. 

Not all the comments from Seungcheol’s mother about how long the trip had been, and how the air in Seoul wasn’t that good, and how the kids’ rooms were lovely and the neighbourhood was perfect to raise children.

Not even one of those was enough to save the awkward meal. 

Towards the end though, Seungcheol’s mother (she was catholic, as Seungcheol’s father was too), decided to make a prayer, being thankful that they were reunited. 

And well… Jeonghan would say he was too, but things weren’t looking so great for the whole family. 

Chan’s performance day wasn’t supposed to end like this. 

They should be celebrating, rewatching the performance on video (especially Seungcheol dancing on the background), not having this awful _awful_ dinner.

Jeonghan was _so_ exhausted. 

Seungcheol gave his mom a tired smile and reached out to squeeze her hand. 

“Thank you for coming.” He said, and Jeonghan knew it was genuine, the only elephant in the room being Seungcheol’s father presence. 

You didn’t have to be a genius to realize how much Seungcheol had missed seeing his mom. 

“Can I add something else, halmeoni?” Wonwoo broke the silence that Seungcheol’s words had caused and Jeonghan was utterly surprised with the eldest suggestion. 

And by Seungcheol’s expression, so was he. 

This was so unlike Wonwoo. 

And Jeonghan didn’t know _why_ but he had the same feeling as when Seungkwan replied that to his father-in-law. 

What would Wonwoo say? 

What if Seungcheol’s dad had said something to Wonwoo and Jeonghan didn’t know?

He’d throw hands if someone said something mean to his kids. 

Seungcheol’s mother placed an encouraging hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder and the fourteen year old didn’t look up from his plate as he started. 

“I… Sometimes I think that if one doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes, they shouldn’t indulge on the same actions.” Wonwoo commented, and Seungkwan seemed to want to snicker under his breath, as always amused by his brother’s words. 

Jeonghan was suddenly pale. 

Of course something had happened between Seungcheol’s father and Wonwoo, but _what_? 

For Wonwoo to do this. 

“Therefore, if you really want something to change, then maybe you should be kinder to others.” Seungcheol took a deep shaky breath, but Jeonghan couldn’t even _look_ at him, he was so nervous himself. And Wonwoo continued quietly, tone getting gentler with every word. “Family is there to support each other, not to bring each other down… That’s what God would want of you.” 

Seungkwan covered his mouth in shock, dramatic, _yes_. 

And Seungcheol’s mother looked at his husband, and everything was going too fast and too slow. 

A big whirlpool of emotions. 

No one said anything after and Wonwoo’s cheeks burned with embarrassment, but he didn’t say _sorry_ , didn’t take it back, because if he did, he’d regret it later. 

This was to protect himself, but most importantly, his brothers and dads. 

Oh, Seungcheol-appa was going to be _mad_ and Jeonghan-appa too. 

He didn’t even want to look at him, he knew he was probably getting _the_ look. 

“Amen.” He added, in a whisper, eyes fixed on the table, heart beating wildly on his chest. 

Silence fell in the room, heavy and filled with meaning. 

This was being the most uncomfortable dinner of his whole life. 

Could someone just… 

...

… say something, please?

“Appa, can I say something now?” Chan stage whispered, easily breaking the silence, unbothered by the sudden tense mood. Jeonghan was dumbfounded, nodding, because he had no idea what else to do. How could this even get any worse? “Can you all stop saying weird stuff and being mean and just talk about my _dance_ instead? I was so good!” 

When Seungcheol’s eyes traveled to his parents, especially to his dad, he saw him look down, embarrassed.

He had felt called out. 

By both a fourteen year old and a _six_ year old. 

“Oh.” Chan nodded to himself, recalling the most important part of his question. “Please?”

***

“Oh my God.”

“Oh my God,” Jeonghan repeated, less enthusiastic. 

Both of them shared a serious look. 

And then they burst out laughing. 

This was ridiculous. 

“How did we-I can’t believe they-” Jeonghan couldn’t even get the words out, he was smiling way too much and he just couldn’t stop, he was so delighted and at the same time _appalled_ by the outcome of this situation. 

He just couldn’t stop _giggling._

“They really have _guts_ , don’t they?” Seungcheol was still laughing as he spoke, then he added, with a teasing tone. “Those are totally _your_ qualities, by the way.” 

“ _What?_ I could never, I’m such a coward when it comes to your father.” Jeonghan threw him the pillow right in Seungcheol’s chest in retaliation. 

Dinner had gone surprisingly well after the kids… little outburst? 

Now the kids were all in bed, Seungcheol’s father had been a decent human being, and the kids had even stayed up late watching a movie with their grandparents. 

“Well, _clearly_ our kids didn’t inherit that!” Seungcheol blurted out with a fond smile, taking a pillow and throwing it to Jeonghan’s chest as he snickered. 

“They’re the worst, oh my God.” Jeonghan said, covering his face with his hands to hide his amused smile.

“They’re the _best_.” 

“Exactly my point!” Jeonghan covered his face even more, embarrassed of recalling the face of his father in law when Chan just called him out like that. “But I can never say that out loud!”

Three out of three kids had actually said something to Seungcheol’s dad, huh? 

They really had _no_ fear whatsoever. 

They were so amazing. 

How could they be so aware of everything? How could they just take charge like that? Back then, Jeonghan and Seungcheol had received it all, even though if it had hurt them in the way.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan kept messing around with each other until the couch had been transformed into a half decent (undone) makeshift bed and then Jeonghan threw himself over the clean covers, rubbing his face against the pillow. 

“We haven’t slept on the couch since we arrived.” Jeonghan commented, words muffling against the pillow. 

Seungcheol’s expression turned nostalgic as his mind inevitably went back to those first months, when they had just gotten this house, and they didn’t even have enough money to buy more furniture. 

They were young, a bit stupid, they definitely had more _energy_ than now, but Seungcheol would like to think that they had made _all_ the right decisions. 

After all, those decisions back then, made it possible for them to have a family _now_.

And he wouldn’t change that for the world. 

The kids had been so great, they always were, how could they be so amazing? 

Seungcheol was _so_ proud of them. 

(And not only for calling out his father on his shit today). 

Still… 

_Still_ he worried, every day the kids were getting bigger and they were facing _adult_ problems now… 

Wonwoo was a teenager, Seungkwan was a pre-adolescent now and Chan was finishing up first grade. 

“Cheol?” Jeonghan asked, and by the time he turned, he noticed his husband looking at him worriedly. 

He must have called his name more than once. 

Today had been _such_ a weird day, to be honest. 

He just couldn’t stop thinking about unnecessary stuff. 

Chaos in the morning to make sure everything was ready for Chan’s performance, then uncertainty about the best way to comfort Chan, and now his parents here, the heavy reminder of unfinished business and another whole generation taking charge of everything. 

Seungcheol really should like… talk to the kids about his parents someday, explain everything to them, and maybe thank them for wanting to protect them. 

There was a lot he wanted to convey to the kids right now. 

“Sorry,” Seungcheol whispered, giving Jeonghan a small smile. “I just… I just really wanna check on the boys, I’ll be right back.” 

Jeonghan looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t, and Seungcheol knew he had those moments too. 

Where he just wanted to make sure the kids were _there_ , safe and sound, and maybe just give them an extra kiss goodnight. 

“Okay, take your time.” Jeonghan smiled at him and Seungcheol felt a weight being lifted off of his shoulders, the reminder that Jeonghan would _always_ understand him easing his soul. 

***

Wonwoo’s room was first. 

The door was half open (he used to leave it closed, but ever since he got Shion the cat, he thought it’d be “unfair” not to let him roam around the house during the night). 

As soon as Seungcheol peeked in, Shion’s ears immediately perked up. 

_So protective_. 

The cat tilted its head curiously and Seungcheol’s eyes landed on Wonwoo’s sleeping figure. 

There was faint light from the hallway illuminating his son’s bed and that was enough for Seungcheol right now. 

No music on.

No specs on.

No TV on.

No covered-with-drool book on his son’s face. 

Okay, good.

His son was fourteen already (holy shit), but he still kept forgetting to turn off the music or the lamp as he read. 

Wonwoo was kind of careless with things like these? 

Tonight it wasn’t one of those days, but Seungcheol actually didn’t mind to check up on him. 

He actually liked it. 

He figured that at some level, Wonwoo _knew_ there was someone that would check up on him, that would be there to take care of him, and… 

Well, Seungcheol didn’t want to spoil that reminder. 

He wished that Wonwoo would be awake, so he could thank him, telling him he didn’t need to protect him, that it should be the other way around. 

But the thing was… that he was thankful nonetheless. 

He’d have to tell him tomorrow. 

Shion fixed his eyes on him suspiciously, looking like he was about to mewl, and Seungcheol pressed his index finger on his lips and the cat seemed to _scoff_ at him, probably for waking him up, and then he nudged its head against Wonwoo’s calf, cuddling with him again.

Seungcheol observed the scene with a fond smile for a few more seconds, just basking in the knowledge that their eldest was fine. 

And then he moved on to Seungkwan’s room.

***

The scene he found on this room was completely different. 

The lump under the covers was way too large to be Seungkwan only and Seungcheol smiled fondly when he caught some _light_ from under the sheets. 

_Gotcha_. 

Seungcheol quietly walked inside and then he grabbed the end of the cover, carelessly threw it off of him. 

“What the-” Seungkwan hissed, immediately turning to see who had done this, as his lips formed a pout. “ _Appa_.” 

He had his headphones on and he was watching his phone. 

And of course he was watching _sports_ , volleyball again.

Aish, this kid. 

Seungcheol rolled his eyes a little but he couldn’t resist it and jumped into the bed hugging Seungkwan from his side and pressing a kiss on his hair. 

“It’s _way_ past your bedtime, young man.” Seungcheol scolded gently, although he couldn’t bring himself to be too stern about this. 

He had done the same thing when he was young. 

Sure, he had been playing on his gameboy back then, but same thing. 

Jeonghan’s parents had bought Wonwoo a new phone (luckily they had consulted with them first) and Seungkwan used to take it from him or borrow it. 

Seungkwan only giggled in response, whining about how it was a weekend, and he should be allowed to stay up a little later, and how could it was more interesting if he saw this live.

“You’re just like your appa, did you know that?” Seungcheol said, with a fond smile. Jeonghan would really negotiate _everything_ , and of course Seungkwan was the same. 

“Is that a compliment?” 

Sassy little thing. 

“Of course it is.” Seungcheol pinched his stomach to make him laugh again and Seungkwan smirked, whining _appa_ as he couldn’t stop laughing once he started. 

When Seungkwan settled down and his laughter was dying down, Seungcheol patted his arm gently, hugging his middle part. 

“Did you have fun watching the movie, Seungkwannie?”

And he really wanted to know, because he was worried that maybe his dad would treat them poorly after the kids had called him out on it. 

“Harabeoji is nice when he’s not being mean,” Seungkwan commented lazily, eyes fixed on the screen. “Halmeoni is sweet, she told me she’d watch my sing performance tomorrow. She really looked interested.” 

Oh.

That was… better than he expected, actually. 

Seungcheol went quiet after that. 

He was glad of hearing that, he was relieved that his dad wasn’t being mean after Wonwoo and Chan had said _that_ during dinner time. 

When Seungkwan caught on Seungcheol’s thoughtful mood, he silently offered him an earphone, and Seungcheol couldn’t help but smile, pressing another kiss on the top of his son’s head. 

“Tempting offer, baby, but Jeonghan-appa will be _so_ cold if I don’t go downstairs and cuddle with him.”

“ _Ew_ , appa,” Seungkwan’s scrunched up his face in disgust, _dramatic_. “I don’t want the details.” 

Seungcheol laughed it off and he finally stood up. 

He still had one more room to check and he didn’t want Jeonghan to actually get _cold_ because he wasn’t there to cuddle him. 

“Turn it off in five, yeah?” He pointed at the phone, pressing one last kiss on the top of Seungkwan’s hair. 

“Ten?” 

“Seven and a half.” 

“Eight?” 

Seungcheol rolled his eyes and tapped on the screen with a final sigh. 

“Eight. Not a second more.” He ordered, knowing that Seungkwan would listen. “Goodnight, baby.” 

“Sleep well, appa.” 

“You too. Love you.” Seungcheol added, and only when he got a fond _love you too_ back, he closed the door and headed to the last room. 

***

Seungcheol couldn’t help the blinding _panic_ he felt when he entered Chan’s room and noticed rumpled sheets and his six year old nowhere to be seen. 

He couldn’t have gone downstairs, because Seungcheol would have heard him, where was he? 

His heart was beating overtime as his feet carried him to the master bedroom, and he opened without even asking for permission, he figured that his son had woken up as he usually did, and he had gone to their room, forgetting that they weren’t there tonight. 

Seungcheol let an actual sigh in relief when he noticed Chan in the middle of the bed, being hugged by his mom. 

He was asleep, and Seungcheol thought they looked kind of cute together. 

When he was a child, Seungcheol used to cuddle with his dad instead of his mom, but… 

Well, he didn’t want to dwell on that right now. 

“Still sleep problems, right?” 

His father’s voice called from the bathroom and Seungcheol suddenly remembered that _he_ had told him that, back then when they met in Daegu. 

“Yeah,” Seungcheol said calmly, kneeling on the bed as gently as he could, to fix Chan’s fringe away from his eyes as the boy slept. His mother was fast asleep as well, and Seungcheol smiled at the sight again. “They’re not that common since he entered school, but they’re still there. Sometimes I think he only likes to snuggle though.” 

After dinner, Seungcheol had barely talked with his dad, and to be honest, after _such_ a long day, he didn’t want to get into a fight with him. 

He just wanted to check on his boys and kiss his husband goodnight and call it a day. 

Chan’s calm and soft breathing was hypnotizing though, and Seungcheol couldn’t stop looking at him.

How childlike he looked in some ways, and how mature he was in others. 

He always knew what to say. 

Seungcheol kept petting his son’s hair, just until a small cough caught his attention. 

“He’s your favorite one, isn’t he?” His dad asked and Seungcheol barely blinked, focused on his task. 

“Huh?”

“Chan.” 

Seungcheol gave him a smile, if he would have been madder, he would have snorted, but no. He just took his time, pressing one last kiss against his son’s hair. 

“I don’t have any favorite ones.” Seungcheol assured him, knowing that people used to think that parents had their favorites, but he really didn’t, he loved them all in his own way. “I love them all the same.” 

Silence fell in the bedroom after that and Seungcheol stood up, getting ready to leave. 

He didn’t make eye contact with his dad, just walked outside, a few anxious thoughts bugging the back of his mind. 

And before he could help himself, before he could think this through, he turned, looking at his dad seriously. 

“Was it me?”

“What?” His father actually looked dumbfounded, caught off guard.

“Your favorite.” Seungcheol explained, allowing himself one moment of weakness.

One moment of being the child again.

But as soon as his father opened his mouth, vulnerability showing on his eyes, Seungcheol raised his hand.

“You know what, I…” When he was a child, he thought he might be, he felt special, his dad’s little boy. “I don’t really want to know.” 

He couldn’t imagine what any of his kids would feel if he had a favorite. If they felt that they didn’t love them all the same amount.

Well, he didn’t have to imagine it… he only needed to remember last year. 

Jeju. 

_i feel like appa hates me_

Seungkwan’s words rung on his ears and his stomach twisted uncomfortably.

It had only been a few months back, but it still burned like it had been yesterday.

Words hurt. 

And Seungcheol would show his kids love, through actions and words.

To all of them, the same amount, the same effort. 

“Seungcheol,” His dad started, tone pensive.

Seungcheol only gave was last glance at Chan (fast asleep, one arm wrapped around his otter plushie, and the other one around Seungcheol’s mom) and decided that whatever his father wanted to say to him, he did not want to hear it.

“Just be nice to my kids, okay?” Seungcheol interrupted tiredly, before his dad could say anything. “Goodnight.” 

***

Once Seungcheol came back to the living room, it was almost one am. 

He was trying not to dwell on his father’s expression as he had started to reply to his question. 

He tried to think of Wonwoo’s sleeping habits, and Seungkwan’s sassiness and in Chan’s dependance towards them. 

When he reached the couch, Jeonghan patted Seungcheol’s side of the bed with a sleepy smile and Seungcheol’s worried thoughts flew out of the window, and instead he quickly changed into his pajamas and slid next to him in bed. 

As soon as Seungcheol wrapped his arms around Jeonghan, his husband reached out to rub his back up and down, tangling their legs together. 

“Babe,” Jeonghan said softly, settling down against Seungcheol’s chest. “I was thinking I could invite Shua for dinner next week.” 

Seungcheol pulled Jeonghan even closer by the waist and pressed a kiss against his husband’s cheek, a teasing smile appearing on his lips. 

Shua. 

Hansollie’s Uncle. 

Jeonghan’s _first_ best friend ever, the friend that had helped him find a new job. 

_That_ friend. 

“Oh, so I’ll be finally meeting the _best friend_.” Seungcheol teased, pressing kisses all over his face now. 

Bickering with Jeonghan made him so happy, it really lifted his spirits. 

“You’re so annoying.” Jeonghan deadpanned, without heat, pressing back into the embrace. 

“What if I don’t like him?” Seungcheol hummed, pressing his lips on Jeonghan’s nape, only stopping when Jeonghan let out a shaky breath, effectively melting on his arms. 

“I thought you liked everything about me.” Jeonghan breathed out, batting his eyelashes, playing the picture of the innocence.

B.S. 

Seungcheol slapped Jeonghan’s ass and pressed a final kiss to his lips, getting a yelp in response. 

“I do like everything about you,” He conceded, because it was true. “ _But_ if I don’t like him, do I get to veto him from this house?” 

“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” Jeonghan said, without answering the question.

There was no need.

Jeonghan knew that this was only playful banter. 

When Jeonghan had opened up to Seungcheol, that night, on New Year’s eve, Jeonghan had cried, clung to him, telling him how stressful this last year had been for him. 

And Seungcheol had given him the last push to look for a new job and maybe a new hobby. 

And Jeonghan had. 

He also had a new friend and Seungcheol was happy about that. 

(Only a bit jealous though). 

And as if Jeonghan was reading his thoughts, he reached out, playing with the hair on Seungcheol’s nape.

“Only you, Cheol.” Jeonghan assured him, eyes fixed on him, even in the dark of the room. 

Seungcheol smiled, their forehead pressing together for a lingering moment. 

“I know.” He replied, warm breath tickling his husband’s lips as he came closer. “And of course you can bring him, you don’t need to ask me.” 

Then Seungcheol couldn’t help it anymore and pressed his lips against his husband’s, rejoicing on the little desperate sound that left Jeonghan’s mouth, and before he could actually continue, he pulled back, an important question arising on his mind. 

“Why didn’t you make the bed?” Seungcheol complained, because when he had left the bed was half undone and when he had came back, it was exactly the same. Jeonghan only pouted in response, knowing Seungcheol couldn’t resist him when he did. “You’re so lazy.” 

“Okay, okay,” Jeonghan conceded. “Let’s make the bed, I will _not_ be freezing myself to death because we decided to have sex _before_ making it.” 

“Oh, so we _are_ having sex?” Seungcheol asked cheerfully. 

Jeonghan smacked him on the chest. 

***

In the end they realized they were too exhausted to have sex (they were _not_ as young as before), but sloppy make-outs as they were dozing off were just as good anyways. 

Once the lights were off, and there was no sound in the house, everyone fast asleep but them, Seungcheol dared to ask something he had been wondering ever since Chan’s performance today. 

“Jeonghannie…” 

He knew he should be asleep already, but he just needed to get this out of his chest. 

“Mm?” 

Jeonghan didn’t even look up from where his head was pressing against the pillow, but he had replied, so he _was_ awake enough to answer this. 

“Maybe I’m overthinking this but…” Seungcheol started, doubtfully. “Channie usually calls you when he’s afraid.” 

“Oh,” Jeonghan immediately sounded less asleep, and he even reached out to pat Seungcheol’s belly. Suspicious. “Baby, he loves you just as much, I-” 

“It’s not that.” 

Okay, this was a little crazy, but it actually made sense, Seungcheol had been thinking about this all day… 

“I think that _you_ actually told him to call me.” He ventured, and in the dark he missed _some_ of Jeonghan’s expression, but not everything, not his furrowed brows, his tight smile. “Because you knew that I was worried about… about _something_ , that something being my parents not arriving.” 

Jeonghan only looked at him, and Seungcheol continued, feeling brave with his assumption. 

“And you know how I’d immediately stop thinking about myself if one of the children were upset.” 

“That… would make a lot of sense, but Cheol, Channie really called for you, he wanted _you_ to be there.” Jeonghan said, sounding sure of himself and Seungcheol rolled his eyes, deciding to stop playing stupid. 

“You’re such an asshole,” Seungcheol whispered, without any heat as he pinched Jeonghan’s waist. “Channie actually told me you said to him! How can you blatantly lie to your husband just like that? Don’t you have any shame?”

As he spoke, Seungcheol started tickling Jeonghan, in all of his weak spots, on his stomach and just on the side of his neck. 

“Ah, no, stop-” Seungcheol found _that_ spot just under Jeonghan’s armpit and tickled him there. Jeonghan actually melted. “ _Cheol_ , please-” 

Seungcheol thought he had some satisfaction to see a giggling squirming Jeonghan under him and he didn’t relent.

Not until Jeonghan confessed. 

“Okay, fine! _Fine_ , I-” Jeonghan weakly pushed him away, still laughing as some happy tears left his eyes. “Sorry, sorry I lied. I just… I just wanted to do something nice for you.” 

Seungcheol cuddled closer to him, pressing an absent kiss to his neck. 

And _that_ was what Seungcheol wanted to hear, he just wanted Jeonghan to admit that he had been doing all of this because he had been thoughtful.

And Seungcheol had wanted to openly say thank you. 

“I know, angel.” Seungcheol whispered, slipping his hand under Jeonghan’s sleep shirt, just to caress some warm skin (and maybe to make him squirm a bit too). “What did I ever do to deserve you, huh?”

Jeonghan let out a shaky breath and pressed himself closer to Seungcheol, preening under his compliments. 

After a while, when Jeonghan realized that Seungcheol kept a lazy caress on his back and chest, he noticed that something was still keeping his husband up, and he dared to ask something as well. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were inviting them? That you gave them a key.” Jeonghan asked, gently caressing Seungcheol’s fringe away from his eyes. 

“I... “ Seungcheol’s groggy voice started. “You knew, right?”

“I knew.” Jeonghan assured him. “I found out when I went to get the invitations and they told me you had already requested for two.” 

“I didn’t…” 

Jeonghan didn’t finish his sentence like he sometimes did, although he knew what was coming. 

“Didn’t know if they’d come.” Seungcheol said after a moment, and Jeonghan didn’t stop caressing his cheekbone, his ear, the outline of his pouty lips. “I didn’t want to tell the kids they would, and then what if they didn’t turn up? This was important to Channie. If they arrived then it’d be a surprise, but if they didn’t, no one had to know. No one would get disappointed.”

 _Except you_ , Jeonghan thought. But he didn’t say it outloud, mostly because Seungcheol would choose to go through the toughest shit all by himself and Jeonghan didn’t want to encourage it, but at the same time, this wasn’t a conversation they’d have today. 

Today things had gone (relatively) well. 

Yes, Seungkwan had replied to his father-in-law like _that_ , and Wonwoo’s prayer in dinner (oh my _God_ ), and then Chan innocent _can we talk about my dance_? 

But surprisingly after that hideous dinner, Seungcheol’s dad had told the kids that they should see a movie together and they all had agreed, Wonwoo dozing off on his grandfather’s shoulder once the movie was thirty minutes in, Chan installing himself right on his lap as Seungkwan animatedly commenting and _criticizing_ the movie. 

Kids were the coolest.

They really said things like _that_ and got away with it. 

They were right and they were setting things straight, and they refused to let things like old family feuds affect them. 

Jeonghan wasn’t hundred percent sure, but he was ninety nine percent sure that their kids would have an awesome relationship with their grandparents from now. 

(And he also expected his in-laws would be more respectful too from now on). 

“Sorry for lying.” Seungcheol added after a while and Jeonghan shook his head gently, even though Seungcheol couldn’t see him in the dark. “I should have told you I’d invite them.” 

“Don’t worry.” 

“I really shouldn’t have kept it from you, Han. I-” 

“I love you.” Jeonghan planted a firm kiss on his husband’s lips to shut him up. “You did great today, with Channie, with your parents. Now go to sleep, babe.” 

He didn’t have to say it twice apparently, because after Seungcheol replied with a small _i love you too_ , the living room was filled with Seungcheol’s soft snores. 

Jeonghan smiled lovingly at his husband, pressing a few kisses over his hair and whatever skin he could reach, and wrapped his arm around his middle part, falling asleep right after. 

***

There wasn’t a peaceful night of sleep when you were a father of three kids. 

Seungcheol knew this, but he relearned the moment the lights turned on and he was blinded for a moment, as the sounds of rustling and then footsteps came his way. 

Even though his eyes were just adjusting to the light, he already knew who it was. 

“Channie.” He croaked, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

What was the time? 

He figured it was around three am. 

Chan would always wake up around that time. 

“Appa.” Chan whined and suddenly the lights were off again and seconds later, the boy was stumbling into the makeshift bed, feet ice cold against Seungcheol’s calves. 

Seungcheol quickly shifted to make room for their son, Jeonghan barely stirring in reaction. 

His husband was exhausted as well, he wouldn’t wake him, he got this. 

"Thought you were sleeping upstairs, baby." Seungcheol whispered, half asleep against Chan’s soft hair. 

"Appa, I liked sleeping there, but it's not the same." Chan whined, shifting and shifting again until he finally fitted himself against Seungcheol’s body. 

“Okay, you know you can always sleep here,” He mumbled. In any other situation Seungcheol would have asked him more, but right now he really was tired too, if he kept talking, then it’d be harder to go back to sleep. 

“Appa, why are they here?” Chan asked, sounding _very_ awake as he cupped Seungcheol’s cheeks, a thoughtful expression on his baby features. 

“They came to see you dance, baby.” Seungcheol explained, hugging him close and kissing the top of his head, hopefully so the embracing warmth would lull him back to sleep. 

They really should.

They had like ten guests tomorrow for breakfast. 

“They were late though.” 

“Yeah,” Seungcheol patted his son’s back gently. ”Appa’s sorry about that.” 

“Harabeoji already said that.” Chan mumbled against Seungcheol’s shoulder and this time Seungcheol properly blinked awake, searching his son’s face.

Wait, _what_?

“What?”

“He was sad because he missed the performance! And he said sorry.” Chan explained. “Then he hugged me, real tight. He said I looked like you, appa, but you were never this tiny, were you?” He asked, humming in thought. 

Oh. 

Did Chan really remind his dad of him as he was young?

That was…

That had so many implications he didn’t want to dwell on, right now. 

“We should invite them more, appa, so they aren’t lonely.” Chan added and if it didn’t break Seungcheol’s heart. 

If Chan only knew that Seungcheol _had_ invited them to come before and they had refused… 

That had been years ago, but it still stung.

Although, maybe. 

Just maybe, things would change from now on?

He suspected it from the way Wonwoo had already exchanged phone numbers with his mom, and the way Seungkwan had asked if maybe they could come to Daegu more.

And now this.

Now Chan. 

He was being so kind. 

Seungcheol wasn’t able to dwell on the last statement that much, (were his parents _lonely?_ ) and Chan was already moving again. 

Next time he shifted it was enough to wake up Jeonghan, his usually heavy sleeper husband turned, blindly hugging the moving figure around his arms. 

“ _Appa_ ,” Chan squealed in delight, and snuggled close to him, unbothered by the fact he had just woken Jeonghan up. “Appa, appa, _appa_ , wake up!” 

Jeonghan shifted again, rubbing his eyes. 

“Am I dreaming? Is this the best way to wake up ever?” Jeonghan asked sleepily and Chan was even more delighted, pressing kisses all over his face. 

Seungcheol’s heart warmed up at the sight. 

And he didn’t wait up any longer, joining Jeonghan and hugging their youngest close. 

“Appa, appa, appa, _appa_.” Chan giggled, suddenly ticklish. 

Their boy settled between them and Seungcheol found Jeonghan’s hand easily, cuddling Chan right in the middle of them. 

“Jeonghan-appa, did you like my dance?” Chan asked, voice a little low. 

Either he had realized it was three am and he should use his _inside_ voice, or he was feeling a little insecure.

Seungcheol would bet for the latter. 

Jeonghan’s expression turned serious, eyes warm as he stared at the boy. 

"You were wonderful,” Jeonghan said, and he believed it. Yes, Chan had made mistakes, he totally tripped on his last move, but he was _smiling_ through the whole dance, enjoying the experience. And that made it perfect for Jeonghan and Seungcheol. “Such a talented boy, we’re so proud of you, love.” 

“Not as good as Uncle Soonyoung.” Chan added softly and Seungcheol smiled, heart warm at how thoughtful their son was. 

He knew that Chan didn’t mean it to belittle himself, he just really loved Uncle Soonyoung _so much_. 

So endearing. 

“You’re Uncle Soonyoung’s best student though.” Jeonghan commented, petting Chan’s hair gently so the action would lull him back to sleep. 

(To no avail though, he sounded _very_ awake). 

“Appa, Junnie-hyung is so good too!” Chan assured him and Seungcheol pressed a kiss at the back of Chan’s head, because he knew that _tone_ and when Chan started talking about dancing, he wouldn’t stop. “Do you remember when he danced that song, the _Dreams come true_ one, and he was _so_ cool and he made the choreography all by himself. And! And! His costume was so pretty, appa, it was really-” 

Even in the dark, Seungcheol and Jeonghan found each other’s eyes and Jeonghan squeezed his husband’s hand, just a little. 

They knew this by heart. 

Jeonghan was always the best at comforting Chan, but Seungcheol would always help the boy fall asleep. 

So Seungcheol reached out and gently caressed Chan’s back up and down, a soothing motion. 

“Uncle Jihoon can dance too,” Chan mumbled, eyes dropping almost immediately, and suddenly his chin was resting on Jeonghan’s chest, then his cheek, then his head. He was slowly resting all of his weight over Jeonghan, but the adult didn’t mind.

As long as their boy could get some rest, he’d sleep through the night with a numb arm. 

“And Seok-hyung and Seungkwan-hyung could sing... we could be a whole group,” He added, words slurring against the fabric of Jeonghan’s pajama top. 

Seungcheol didn’t stop rubbing his back up and down softly, and a few moments later, the boy was fast asleep again. 

“You’re so good at this,” Jeonghan praised, placing his hand over Seungcheol’s. “Not even five minutes and he’s already asleep.” 

Seungcheol smiled, the stress of the day sweeping through his bones as he blinked sleepily at his husband. 

It had been such a weird day. 

Chan’s performance and then his parents. 

But even after the kids taking a stand against Seungcheol’s father treatment towards them, everything seemed calm enough after that? 

Kids were really that powerful. 

“Now you should go back to sleep,” Jeonghan suggested, ordered, in his groggy voice and Seungcheol yawned, seeking his husband and son’s warmth and fell asleep right after. 

***

This was nice. 

Usually the house wasn’t as lively in the morning.

(Except when all five kids made a slumber party). 

But it was _so_ nice. 

Seungcheol dared to count as he watched it all from the kitchen aisle. 

Their three children, his parents, the Soonyoung+Jihoon combo plus Seok… 

Ten, eleven… 

He squinted so he wasn’t missing anyone and he couldn’t help but smile when he reached the final number. 

Thirteen people. 

Both Junhui and Wonwoo were all over Seungcheol’s mom, showing her photos they had both taken of Shion, Jihoon was quietly talking with Minghao and Jeonghan, and they were all easily leaning on each other, Seungcheol bet they were checking up on Jeonghan after his change of work. 

Chan was on the _backstage_ (just behind their TV), getting help from Uncle Mingyu and Uncle Soonyoung with his costume. 

Seokmin and Seungkwan were enthusiastic talking to Seungcheol’s dad, probably about sports again and Seungcheol couldn’t help but to smile fondly at the sight.

His house full of people who cared about their children. 

Who supported them enough to come on a Saturday at like eight am to see a six year old dance. 

“Now the star of the show, please welcome Chan!” Soonyoung yelled and a round of applauses followed. 

Seungcheol leaned on the kitchen counter (all the seats were taken, but he didn’t mind), he just wanted to observe from here, watch everything unfold. 

He just couldn’t stop thinking about Chan’s words. 

_Can you all stop saying weird stuff and being mean and just talk about my dance_

Oh, and how it had worked. 

New generations could literally change the world, couldn’t they?

Even Seungcheol felt more at ease with his whole situation.

(And well, right before the show started, his father had approached Jeonghan and he and said sorry, lamenting his behavior since the day before). 

Seungcheol felt a small gentle tug on his hand and he got out of his daze, his eyes meeting with his husband’s, just as he arrived on his side. 

Oh, but he looked gorgeous, more over today. 

Jeonghan didn’t look as tired as last year and everything that had happened before seemed like a fever dream.

They were such in a good place right now, Jeonghan was healthier, _happier_ , and Seungcheol was delighted. 

Seungcheol picked up Jeonghan’s hand and kissed his knuckles. 

He wished he could always have this, a full house, a loving family, a loving _husband_. Their house filled with music and laughter. 

Seungcheol knew that perfection didn’t exist, but if he looked at his life right now, maybe it did. 


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of injury, panic attacks (briefly).

“Shut up!” 

“ _No_ , you shut up!” 

“Leave me alone.” 

“Leave _me_ alone.” 

“You started it though!” 

“If you weren’t _that_ obvious-” 

“I’m not being obvious! Hansol is _not_ my boyfriend,” Seungkwan stressed, sounding seconds away from snapping for real. “Leave me alone.” 

“You sure spend a lot of time with him though.” 

“Yeah, well, he’s my _best_ friend-” 

“Which you like.” Chan added, with an uninterested tone, eyes glued to his phone. 

“ _Appa.”_

Jeonghan let out a sigh and Seungcheol _tried_ to keep his eyes on the road. 

These kids. 

They (almost) never fought when they were younger, but now they were teenagers, suddenly they were the most savage, sassiest little things. 

It was often funny, but sometimes, it spiralled out of control. 

Seungcheol hoped it wasn’t one of those occasions right now.

“Channie.” Jeonghan warned gently, reading his husband’s thoughts, but the youngest only hummed in response. 

Seungkwan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms against his chest. 

Chan had always been their dads’ most spoiled kid, and it showed in the way they scolded him, being so much softer with him. 

And that little shit took advantage of it, if you asked Seungkwan. 

The warning seemed to work though, because once they were silent, only the soft music from Seungcheol’s radio filled the car. 

They were on time for Chan’s performance, so Seungcheol took it slow, and it’d have been _peaceful_ and _domestic_ if it weren’t for the kids’ incessant bickering. 

“Remember when you were adorable?” Seungkwan asked, through gritted teeth, because he could _not_ let it go that easily. 

“Yeah, remember when you ate a crayon?” Chan replied, without missing a beat. 

“That was ONE time-” 

“ _Boys_.” It was Seungcheol this time. 

“It wasn’t even an _edible_ crayon, just a regular-”

“It was a dare and I-” 

“Boys.” Seungcheol warned, suppressing a groan. “Do you want to _walk_ to the school?” 

Silence. 

“I thought so. Now be civil.” 

The rest of the ride was relatively peaceful, if you asked Seungcheol. Seungkwan put on his headphones and Chan was busily replying on his social media accounts, so Seungcheol finally relaxed, idly caressing Jeonghan’s knuckles as he drove. 

He still didn’t know if Wonwoo could make it today, he was in the middle of finals, and even though he would religiously come to see his younger brothers’ performances (and there were _a lot_ of those), this time Wonwoo hadn’t said a word.

He hadn’t said he was on his way, or hadn’t asked for any money for the train ticket. 

(Well, not like Seungcheol and Jeonghan didn’t know that Wonwoo _always_ had money, the boy was saving up since he was like seven). 

Chan was already thirteen, and even though he acted like he was embarrassed, he liked when his family showed up to support him. 

Sure, Uncle Soonyoung was a bit embarrassing, but it’s not like that was _right now_ , he had always been like that. 

Seungcheol had been hoping to see their eldest today, but he understood if he couldn’t make it.

Wonwoo was worried about his grades, hoping to become TA soon and Jeonghan and Seungcheol couldn’t be prouder. 

They didn’t want him to feel guilty if he prioritized his studies this time. 

“Kids, no bickering, remember?” Jeonghan’s gentle voice interrupted his thoughts and Seungcheol noticed they had finally arrived at the school, his sheer muscle memory driving them here. “Today’s Channie’s day.”

Chan’s smile was smug as he turned to look at his hyung, and Seungkwan could only roll his eyes. 

“Unlike every other day.”

The whisper didn’t go unnoticed by Seungcheol’s ears, and just when Chan reached out to shove Seungkwan’s shoulder, Seungcheol groaned. 

“What did we _just_ say about bickering?” 

A chorus of _sorry appa_ followed, but Seungcheol knew it was empty promises. 

Ah, these kids. 

***

Jeonghan couldn’t believe their _youngest_ was thirteen. 

Their baby. 

Once he had been a two year old, who couldn’t even sleep if he wasn’t being carried by them and now he was the star of the school recital. 

Ah, time went by _so_ fast. 

And with time, Jeonghan had realized that helping with costumes and calming their anxiety wasn’t on their to-do lists anymore, and they could just sit down in the audience and wait for the performance to start.

Their boys were so big. 

Jeonghan almost missed when Chan or Seungkwan would ask him to hold their hands backstage, because they wanted _appa_ to comfort them. 

Chan was still a bit anxious, if you asked Jeonghan, but he was buzzing with excitement as well, eager to do well. 

To show how much he had improved. 

Their usual row of seats looked emptier today, and Jeonghan couldn’t help that pang of emotion at the reminder that as the kids kept growing up, it got a little harder for their uncles to be there. 

However, they wouldn’t miss their usual Saturday lunch at their house, so they could all see Chan’s performance video, at least that hadn’t changed in years. 

And Chan was excited to gather the whole family. 

Seokmin would be going off to college next year, and both Wonwoo and Junhui were already third years, Mingyu and Minghao kept traveling abroad for business and Jihoon and Soonyoung were in full comeback mode. 

So much had happened, but they’d still gather around for things like these. 

It made Jeonghan’s heart swell with emotion. 

He loved his family so much. 

Before he could start to get teary eyed, Chan appeared, in his full outfit, which not only included black skinny ripped jeans and an equally tight fitted _black_ shirt. 

It _also_ included his brown hair neatly slicked back and _blue_ contacts. 

Paired with perfect slightly winged eyeliner. 

(Jeonghan at thirteen could _not_ relate, his mom would have passed out at the sight of him with make up in hand). 

“Wow, you look so cool.” 

Heads turned in a second towards the familiar voice, and Chan was wrapping his arms around the newcomer in a second. 

“ _Hyung_.” 

Wonwoo wrapped his arms tight around Chan, as Seungkwan uttered a small surprised _hyung, you didn’t tell me!_

Jeonghan was still gaping. 

Unattractive, yes, he knew. 

It was shocking, even though Wonwoo was _right there_ , in his oversized cardigan and carrying his bag, with his college logo. 

He still couldn’t believe it. 

They had been worried about Wonwoo not having enough time to come (finals were just around the corner), but of course Wonwoo was here. 

He hadn’t failed Chan once. 

The thought made Jeonghan's chest swell with emotion. 

“I’m so happy you could make it!” Chan stood up in tip toes to properly hug him, and Jeonghan couldn’t quite see them, but he knew they were both smiling. 

Their boys, they loved each other so much. 

Once Seungkwan had gotten his turn as well (nagging him because _you were supposed to tell me you were coming!_ ), Jeonghan finally was able to get one proper look at his son, the prominent eye bags were hard to miss, in the way they always were when he came back from college, but he was smiling, looking genuinely happy to be there. 

And because Jeonghan was many things and an embarrassing dad was one of them, he reached out, voice wavering as he patted Wonwoo’s cheek. 

“You’ve gotten so handsome.” Jeonghan gushed, thinking how it should be a _crime_ that their oldest was _taller_ than them. 

“You saw me last month.” Wonwoo said, with a sheepish smile. He fixed his bag on his shoulder and it made Jeonghan wonder if he’d be staying for the weekend, as he sometimes did. He really hoped so. “I’m pretty sure I haven’t changed much.” 

“Wonwoo, you made it! How’s our boy?” Seungcheol was right by them in a second, placing a hand on the back of Wonwoo’s neck to pull him into a hug as well. As soon as he had pulled back enough to actually _look_ at him, he was cupping his son’s cheek, eyes filling with worry. “Baby, are you having enough sleep? You look tired.” 

Wonwoo’s cheeks went a little red at the term of endearment (Jeonghan thought it was adorable), but he didn’t say anything about it. 

“I’m okay, and I do get enough sleep,” Wonwoo assured, only whining a little bit as he hugged Seungcheol back. As soon as Wonwoo had enough room to _breathe_ , he pouted. “You’re making me feel bad, like I never visit you all.” 

“It’s never enough, we miss you so much.” Jeonghan reached out to pinch his son’s cheek again and Wonwoo pulled away from him, at the last second, the tips of his ears going even redder. 

Okay, it seemed like Wonwoo had allowed enough coddling. 

“Hyung! Sit,” Chan tugged on his brother’s sleeve excitedly. “It’s about to start, I choreographed this myself. And it’s really cool, because even though all six of us are dancing, I’ve got this solo in the middle-” 

Chan’s excited chatter continued until Wonwoo had found a seat and Seungkwan had joined in, all three of them talking loudly. 

Seungcheol wrapped an arm around Jeonghan’s shoulders, a silent reassurance. 

Yes, they had missed Wonwoo, but as they caught sight of Seungkwan wrapping an arm around Wonwoo as they talked and Chan insisting on them taking a selfie to immortalize the moment, they just knew that they hadn’t missed him the most. 

It had been three years since their baby left the nest, but it surely hurt like it had been yesterday. 

Even though the venue was crowded, Seungcheol still managed to press a quick kiss on Jeonghan’s temple, patting the small of his back so they’d go and sit down as well.

They’d have time later to catch up, the show was about to start. 

***

Chan couldn’t stop fiddling with his phone. 

The backstage always felt like a blur, people running around, fixing their costumes, their makeup and accessories, and amidst all of that, of all the loud music and chaos, Chan just sat on a secluded corner. 

He wasn’t nervous. 

No, he knew this dance like the back of his hand, he had been practicing it ever since last year’s performance. 

He had shown it to Jihoon and Soonyoung and they had said it was good. 

Their dance teacher even said it was amazing. 

He had practiced until his knees bled and he almost passed out. 

(And yes, he got nagged about those things, mostly by Jeonghan and Seungkwan). 

So, _yes_ , he knew this dance. 

He could probably perform it with his eyes closed. 

Then why all of the sudden he was getting nervous?

His heart was beating fast and loud in his chest as he stared down at his phone. 

More than twenty notifications. 

All of them unread messages. 

From his friends, his uncles (he was pretty sure his grandparents were there somewhere too), his classmates. 

All of them wishing him good luck. 

He knew he’d only get more nervous if he read them though. 

There was only _one_ he allowed himself to open, his thumb hovered over the screen, cheeks already warm before he could press the notification.

_i know you’ll do well, k-pop’s future_

Chan couldn’t help it, but his heart skipped a beat at the nickname. 

At the implications. 

Yes, it was like an inside joke between him and Sungyeon, both of them wanting to become idols in the future. 

And _yes_ , maybe it wasn’t something that should make him all giddy, but it did. 

Sungyeon would be there, somewhere in the audience. 

And Chan couldn’t wait to impress all of the school, his parents, his brothers (especially Wonwoo, who had come from afar), but with Sungyeon… 

Maybe he wanted to impress her too.

Just a tiny bit more. 

***

The performance was going well. 

All of them looked amazing and Jeonghan wasn’t being biased when he thought his baby was shining the most. 

Okay, maybe a little biased. 

But Chan looked so confident, his movements sharp, he _owned_ the stage. 

In the back of his mind, Jeonghan wondered about Chan’s dream, how tiny he had looked when he had sat both of them down one afternoon to tell them _i want to be an idol_. 

How crazy that had looked, how unreachable, even though it had been only a year ago. 

But now… something about the way Chan danced, it made Jeonghan think- 

The gasp of the audience was the first thing he registered. 

His eyes were _glued_ to his son, they always were, and Jeonghan couldn’t possibly miss the moment when Chan seemed to trip over his own feet. 

Everything seemed to occur in slow motion then. 

Jeonghan’s first reaction was to rise from his seat, clutching Seungcheol’s hand tightly, just in time to see Chan hit the floor, the snap of a _bone_ , and then he just twisted his right hand, made _something_ and managed to get up and keep going. 

As if everything was part of the choreography in the first place. 

The audience let out a small round of applause, but it didn’t manage to calm Jeonghan’s rapid beating heart. 

_Please,_ Jeonghan thought _,_ heart sinking, _let him be okay_. 

The song had only half a minute left, but it was an eternity, because they just kept dancing. 

Chan kept dancing. 

But Jeonghan couldn’t focus anymore, because he missed his son’s expression. 

And that thought only made him more anxious. 

Chan was hurt. 

How bad had it been? He didn’t know, he couldn’t _see._

Only Seungcheol’s tight squeeze on his hand brought him back to reality, and he gingerly sat back down, heart thrumming in his chest. 

At their side, Seungkwan’s mouth was agape and Wonwoo looked expressionless, but he was literally holding the edge of his seat. 

“He’s… he’s okay, right? Only twisted his…” Seungkwan started with a whisper. 

Jeonghan couldn’t even comfort him, he just needed to get out of here. 

Chan was at the end of the formation, hidden behind the other dancers, but Jeonghan’s mind was racing. 

Was his baby okay? 

“He’s okay.” Wonwoo assured, when no one replied and Jeonghan was thankful, because he wasn’t sure he’d manage to get the words out, even if he tried. Wonwoo placed a hand on Seungkwan’s shoulder and squeezed gently, voice calm. “He’s okay, right, appa?” 

Only then, Jeonghan dared to look at Seungcheol. 

Seungcheol’s lips were a thin line and he was squeezing so hard it _hurt_. 

Neither of them replied. 

Jeonghan didn’t remember the song ending, but it must have, because next thing he knew Seungkwan was ushering him out of the row of seats, and all of them were standing (trying not to cause so much hassle) and then they were out, in the hallway. 

Incessant clapping could be heard from inside the school auditorium. 

“ _Jesus_ , where’s the infirmary?” Seungcheol was the first one to ask, and _something_ about his tone, set off the alarms in Jeonghan’s head. 

He was freaking out. 

His husband was freaking out and _he_ wasn’t reacting. Not at all. 

Jeonghan only needed to look at Seungkwan and Wonwoo once, how scared and worried they looked and he reached out to hold Seungcheol’s free hand. 

One of them needed to be calm. 

“Easy,” Jeonghan held both of Seungcheol’s hands gently, with a pleading look. “It’s okay, Cheol. He’s okay.” 

Seungcheol looked like he was about to cry. 

Whenever the kids were injured or sick, Seungcheol freaked out a little. 

It had been years, but Jeonghan still thought he could handle these kinds of things better than his husband. 

And he didn’t mind. 

“Come on, let’s see where they took him.” Jeonghan tugged on his hand and then they were walking. 

All of their kids had attended the same school, so they knew how to get to the infirmary. 

And hopefully someone would have taken Chan there, because they couldn’t enter the backstage in the middle of the performance. 

(They were already the only gay couple in the school with three adopted kids, they didn’t need to attract more attention towards them). 

Luckily it was less than five minutes and Jeonghan and Seungcheol were already entering the infirmary, after some anxious knocking. 

The first thing they saw was Chan sitting on the stretcher, holding his injured wrist against his chest. 

Second thing Jeonghan registered, Chan was _crying_. 

His cheeks were red, makeup smudged over his face, and he was shaking. 

“Appa,” Chan whimpered, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I think it’s broken.” 

Jeonghan was by his side in a second. 

“Shh, baby, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Jeonghan placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it gently as he tried to get Chan to look at him into his eyes. 

“It hurts so bad.” Chan choked on a sob, and Seungcheol decided to approach too, placing his hand on his son’s shoulder. 

The slight tremble on his husband’s hands didn’t go unnoticed by Jeonghan and he tried not to panic, because his kids had gotten injured before, but not like this. 

Never like this. 

“Okay, baby, breathe with me.” Jeonghan squeezed Chan’s thigh, until his son looked up. “There you are, eyes on me, okay?” 

Chan’s left wrist was red and swollen and Jeonghan tried not to freak out. 

Please let it be a strain. 

“You’re doing good, baby.” Jeonghan encouraged, as Chan’s breathing evened it out, just a little. “You’re okay. You’re going to be okay, appa’s going to get the car, okay? We’re taking you to the hospital.”

Seungcheol hadn’t said a word since they had entered the infirmary, but his eyes snapped into attention as Jeonghan mentioned him. 

Another sob left Chan’s lips and Seungcheol wrapped his arms around him, giving him a loose hug so he wouldn’t squeeze his injured hand. 

“Appa’s right, Channie.” Seungcheol whispered, voice wavering. “You’re going to be okay, I’ll be right back, okay, baby?” 

Albeit a little shakily, Chan nodded. 

And Seungcheol was gone. 

Jeonghan pulled some tissues from his back pocket and cleaned Chan’s face, and scratch what he said about his son looking older, with his face covered in snot and tears, Jeonghan wanted to hold him and never let go of him ever again. 

“Why-” Chan started, his voice only a whisper, and he sounded _so_ vulnerable, so raw. Before he could finish his question, a lump had already formed on Jeonghan’s throat, a sense of dread. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what was next. “Why do I always fuck up?”

If his heart could break into a million pieces in one second, this was the way. 

His youngest was curled up into a ball, in pain, crying and helpless. 

Chan had worked so hard for this dance, why couldn’t things go right? 

If there was anything he could do to change the outcome, Jeonghan would have done it in a heartbeat. 

He just couldn’t see his son this heartbroken. 

“Channie…” Jeonghan cleared his throat, he couldn’t sound unsure, no, not right now. “You didn’t.” 

Chan’s breath stuttered, looking down. 

He looked like he was about to go into full panic mode. 

Jeonghan wouldn’t allow it. 

“I _did_.” 

“You kept dancing, baby.” Jeonghan assured him, wishing Chan would believe him, just this once. “I bet your teammates are so proud of you, you kept dancing even when you got hurt, you were amazing.” 

Chan shook his head, stubborn, and okay, he knew Chan had his standards and of course this didn’t go as planned, but… 

But, what was Jeonghan supposed to do? 

Say nothing while his son looked this vulnerable? 

The sight tugged at his heartstrings and Jeonghan really wanted to hug him close, comfort him properly. 

“I… I wanted it to be perfect.” Chan whispered, brokenly. 

Jeonghan had to swallow the lump on his throat again, his eyes getting glassy no matter how much he tried not to let it show. 

He needed to be strong for Chan right now. 

“And you were.” Jeonghan assured him, once more, reaching out to cup his dry but warm cheek. 

Chan was only thirteen, and the fact that he sounded this upset, this disappointed in himself. 

The small sad smile that formed on Chan’s lips was enough for the tears to gather and leave Jeonghan’s eyes. 

“I wasn’t.” 

And Jeonghan knew that if he'd be able to protect his son from one thing and one thing only, it'd be from his own insecurity. 

But he couldn't. 

It wasn't possible. 

So he did the best thing he could think of right now, and pulled him into a hug. 

He could only hope it managed to convey what he was thinking. 

_i'm so proud of you regardless_

_i love you so much_

_you're so talented_

Chan didn't say a thing, but after a few seconds, he hugged back.

And Jeonghan thought that was enough for now. 

***

“That’s…”

Seungkwan took a deep steadying breath, even though he knew Wonwoo wasn’t judging him, he’d never. 

Still, his eyes stayed stubbornly glued to his shoes. 

“That’s the thing with Hansol and me, I guess.” Seungkwan ended with a whisper. 

Wonwoo hummed in thought.

A few minutes had passed since Jeonghan and Seungcheol had entered the infirmary, and since the room was tiny, they stayed outside not to overwhelm Chan. 

And his parents. 

And Seungkwan had wanted to wait to talk about Wonwoo about this, but his incessant blabber about Chan being hurt and how worried he was about that, had evolved to his talk about how Chan kept making him mad on purpose, how they were teasing each other more everyday. 

To finally land on _today_ ’s incident. 

Truth was, Seungkwan couldn’t stop thinking about what Chan had said. 

Was it _that_ obvious he had a crush on Hansol? 

Was Hansol even picking that up? 

Could Chan see it just because he knew him well? 

(Because breaking news, Hansol did too!) 

Overall, did Hansol _know_?

Did Seungkwan _want_ him to know? 

And lastly, if Hansol _knew_ , why wasn’t he doing anything about it? 

“So… do you _want_ him to date you?” Wonwoo asked, after a few moments of processing all the information. 

Seungkwan’s cheeks turned red despite himself. 

He knew it’d be the obvious question, but _still_ , for Wonwoo to just ask it out loud like that… 

It was embarrassing. 

“I… we’re-” He started, tripping over his own words. “We’re best friends… I love what we have, I don’t want to ruin it… and I don’t know if he’s gay… hell, I don’t even know if _I’m_ gay.” 

“No cursing,” Wonwoo tutted and Seungkwan rolled his eyes, _this hyung_ , only to pout in response until Wonwoo continued. “You’re only sixteen, show hyung some respect.” 

Although Wonwoo added it in a serious tone, he was smiling and the fact that he’d dare to joke a little about this whole thing, it made Seungkwan feel reassured. 

Lighter. 

The next question, however, made Seungkwan tense up again. 

“Are you... attracted to him?”

And he didn’t _have_ to say it, because his cheeks must have turned red, red enough so Wonwoo would reach out to squeeze his arm, grounding, comforting. 

It felt a lot like Seungcheol or Jeonghan. 

“It’s okay for boys to like boys, Seungkwan.” Wonwoo said calmly, and he didn’t seem to mind that Seungkwan hadn’t stared at him _once_ since this conversation had started. “Look at our parents.” 

It wasn’t about him being gay.

It wasn’t about him being attracted to another boy.

But why Hansol of all people, why his best friend? 

“Yeah…” Seungkwan said in the end, thinking that maybe, later, or tomorrow, he’d have a deeper conversation with Wonwoo.

Not when they were worried and anxious about Chan’s injury. 

One of these days, Seungkwan would take on the offer and would go to Wonwoo’s college, stay at his dorm. And they’d talk. 

But today, today Wonwoo had appeared as a surprise and Seungkwan was so thankful that he didn’t care about anything else. 

They didn’t have to do anything, just Wonwoo being here was enough. 

“Seungkwannie,” Wonwoo added, after a small pause. “Maybe you don’t have to know what it means to like him, you know? You’ve got plenty of time to figure what you want. And well, if you do like him, you don’t need to stress about a label or your sexual orientation, the important thing it’s to feel comfortable with yourself.” 

Oh.

That was actually… 

Pretty good. 

Seungkwan finally dared to look up, Wonwoo’s gaze was warm and inviting and Seungkwan couldn’t help but nudge him, playfully. 

“That was so cool of you, hyung.” 

Wonwoo pouted in response. 

“Why are you sounding _that_ surprised? Hyung has always been cool.” 

Seungkwan thought so too, but he wasn’t going to let Wonwoo know that, so he tugged on his arm a little, missing the closeness, the affection. 

“How is it going with you, hyung?” Seungkwan asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Because there was _something_ about him. 

Seungkwan had been noticing it, ever since the beginning of this year. 

Wonwoo had always been handsome, all of his life (without him even trying, unfair), but this year… he had been more worried about his clothing, about his appearance, and Seungkwan could see how he’d often check his phone. 

The only thing he got in response was a frown and a tilt of his head, but Seungkwan smiled in response.

Because _maybe_ he was right. 

“I pay attention too, hyung.” 

And yes, maybe he wanted to tease him a little, but mostly it was because Wonwoo was a quiet, withdrawn person and even though Seungkwan was sixteen and Wonwoo would be turning twenty two, it didn’t mean that Seungkwan couldn’t help.

He was mature and he wanted to be there for Wonwoo too. 

But he wasn’t sure Wonwoo would let him. 

“So observant, Seungkwannie.” Wonwoo cooed, reaching out to pinch his cheek. 

Okay, probably wouldn’t let him.

“ _Hyung_ ,” Seungkwan whined, pushing his brother’s hand away from his cheeks. Why did _everyone_ at this family love to pinch his cheeks so much? “You’re not going to tell me anything about your college crush?” 

And then he saw it, the slightest shift in Wonwoo’s gaze, _caught_ , but then he went back to aloof.

Which _was_ more like him. 

“What college crush?” 

Okay, if he wanted to play dumb… 

“You just said _so observant_ , so I’m right!” Seungkwan pouted, crossing his arms against his chest. 

It had been so obvious, Seungkwan knew he was right! 

However, Wonwoo wouldn’t let him have this one.

“Ah, Seungkwannie,” He ended with a smile, patting on his shoulder. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Aw, come on! 

He was _guilty_. 

***

Seungcheol made sure to come back to the infirmary as quickly as he could. 

His thoughts were all over the place and he couldn’t get the image of an injured _crying_ Chan out of his mind. 

So he skipped his two eldest having a conversation right outside (they looked serious, so Seungcheol wouldn’t want to intervene either), and just burst into the infirmary. 

Only to be met by the sight of Chan, Jeonghan and… a girl. 

Oh. 

Not just any girl. 

The girl Chan had a (massive) crush on, the girl he married on kindergarten-

“Sungyeon,” Chan whispered, seemingly as surprised as Seungcheol. 

She must have entered the infirmary just a few moments before Seungcheol. 

Chan looked embarrassed at her presence, looking down immediately and Seungcheol’s words died on the back of his throat. 

They were supposed to get going now, but _something_ was going on between the two. 

Something awkward. 

He shared a meaningful glance with Jeonghan and his husband nodded, deciding he’d break the ice instead.

Sungyeon was one of Chan’s closest friends, and well, Seungcheol and Jeonghan both suspected he had a bit of a crush on her, and Chan had been talking on and on about wanting to impress his classmates, but Jeonghan and Seungcheol knew he meant her. 

She was a dancer too. 

Of course their baby would fall for one, it wasn’t surprising at all. 

“Appa brought the car, baby.” Jeonghan said gently, reaching out to fix Chan’s damp hair. “Come on, let’s go.” 

Sungyeon seemed to tense a little at the reminder and Chan’s eyes snapped in Seungcheol’s direction. 

“Ah, appa, can we just-” He started, cheeks blushing. “Can we just talk for a moment?” 

Seungcheol parted his lips, but Sungyeon beat him to it. 

“That’s not… I don’t want to be a bother, I’m sorry. I just… I just wanted to check up on you, Chan.” Sungyeon raised her hands and backed away, ready to leave, but Chan’s voice interrupted them once more.

“Appa,” Chan pleaded, and _damn_ , Seungcheol couldn’t resist those eyes. 

He must have really wanted to talk to her too. 

Ah, young love. 

Seungcheol was already considering, and Jeonghan must have caught his hesitation. 

“Channie, we really need to leave right now.” Jeonghan repeated, but it was missing some of the firmness on his voice. 

It’d be one of those situations where they’d crack, Seungcheol knew it already. 

Seungcheol couldn’t bring himself to be more stern about this, he remembered being thirteen. 

It was a blur of karate lessons and sleepovers with Jihoon, getting caught copying on his algebra test (had his first panic attack, not fun) and maybe - _maybe_ \- his first crush. 

An eventful year, yes. 

Chan took a deep shaky breath. 

“Just… a minute, can we talk just a minute?” He asked, sounding like he was about to cry. There was a beat of silence and feeling defeated, Jeonghan and Seungcheol shared a look. “ _Please_?”

Jeonghan sighed. 

“Only a minute, Channie.” He conceded, Seungcheol’s shoulders relaxed a little, he didn’t know _why_ he was tense all of the sudden, maybe Chan’s injury was just dawning on him. Chan looked in so much pain, body trembling all over, but he still wanted to stay and talk, it must have been important. Or maybe Chan really liked this girl. “We need to take you to the doctor as soon as possible.” 

“Okay.”

As soon as they were alone, Chan started to think maybe he shouldn’t have agreed to this. 

His heart started to beat fast, heat rushing to his face. 

He was _so_ embarrassed, he felt like an idiot. 

He had made a fool of himself in front of the whole school. 

“How are you feeling?” Sungyeon’s tone was gentle, but Chan still couldn’t even look at her in the eye. 

How was he _supposed_ to feel? 

There were a lot of ways to describe it, how this was the only chance in the whole year he had to prove to himself he was improving his dancing, how he’d disappointed the team, how Wonwoo had come all the way _here_ only to see him failing, how he was so sure of himself before, he had danced this with his eyes closed and nailed and- 

And how today of all days could have been an opportunity, and he wasted it. 

“It… it hurts a lot.” He whispered in the end, realizing the silence was too tense.

Too heavy. 

He hated how everyone would look at him with pity now. 

He had ruined the whole show, he knew. 

“Chan…” 

And there it was. 

“It’s okay,” Chan cut her off. “I know.”

She would say it was okay, that he hadn’t fucked up that badly. 

“You don’t.” Chan looked up just in time to see Sungyeon roll her eyes, her expression fond. “Listen to me, okay?” 

And what else could he do? Not like he could go anywhere. 

(Not like he’d want to, her teasing was managing to make him feel a bit better). 

“This changed my opinion of you,” She started and Chan felt his eyes well up with tears, why did he have to be such a crybaby? He had always been. “I never, _ever_ , thought I could see someone dancing midway and practically breaking his wrist and then keep going.” 

As Chan’s mind registered the words as a compliment, he dared to hold her gaze.

Feeling like crying even more.

“That’s just... “ She smiled, all with her braces and dimples and Chan thought she looked _so_ cute, he’d pass out. “K-pop’s future behavior, you know?” 

The tears finally rolled down his cheeks and he couldn't help but to smile too. 

Because he knew Sungyeon, they were best friends, and she’d never _ever_ lied to him before, and the fact that she sounded so genuine… 

Maybe it managed to soothe Chan’s heart, even just a little. 

***

**JR**

_you’ve been so quiet today, everything okay back at home?_

15.31. 

**Wonwoo**

_channie got hurt as he performed, he tripped and fell. we’re at the hospital right now._

15.35.

**JR**

_i’m sorry to hear about that._

15.36. 

_is he okay?_

15.37. 

**Wonwoo**

_they took an x-ray, hopefully he didn’t break anything._

15.38.

**JR**

_i feel bad for him, he worked really hard, didn’t he?_

15.39. 

**Wonwoo**

_yes._

15.42.

**JR**

_are you okay?_

15.44. 

**Wonwoo**

_it’s hard being back home. i miss it._

15.45.

_sometimes._

15.45.

_miss my family too._

15.48.

**JR**

_want me to call you?_

15.49.

**Wonwoo**

_not right now, still at the hospital._

15.51.

_but thank you._

15.54.

_i will. in a while._

15.58.

**JR**

_that’s okay_ _♡_

16.01.

**Wonwoo**

_seungkwan already knows about you._

16.35.

**JR**

_wait, i thought you didn’t want to tell anyone about me?_

16.38. 

**Wonwoo**

_i didn’t, he just… suspected, i think. he called you my ‘college crush’._

16.40. 

**JR**

_am i? your college crush? ;)_

16.42. 

**Wonwoo**

_you’re enjoying this a lot._

16.42. 

_i can almost see your smug smile, even though we’re miles apart._

16.43.

**JR**

_you are too, you know? my college crush._

16.44. 

**Wonwoo**

_i know._

16.45.

**JR**

_i can almost see your blush, even though we’re miles apart._

16.47.

_you’re cute._

16.47.

_you already know that though_

16.47.

**Wonwoo**

_yes_ _~♡_

16.48.

**JR**

_♡_

16.49.

***

Seungkwan always paced around when he was nervous. 

He couldn’t help it. 

That antsiness had to go _somewhere_ and waiting inside the hospital was proving to be too difficult for him, he felt like a caged animal. 

Which led them outside. 

_Them_. 

Because well… Chan and Hansol were getting close these days and Chan had personally invited him to watch the performance. 

Hansol had arrived a little late, so he was at the back when Chan fell, and he had been waiting until Seungkwan texted _heading to the hospital now, will you come with me?_

He had immediately gotten a _sure_ in response.

When he had asked _can Hansol come with us to the hospital?_ Jeonghan had only raised his eyebrows and smiled. 

_Of course, Seungkwannie, you two are always together, aren’t you?_

Seungkwan and Hansol.

Always together. 

(Seungcheol even joked about how much he was a part of the family already). 

“What if he actually broke his wrist, God, that kid!” He fumed. “I didn’t even see which hand it was, was it his dominant hand? I can’t believe this happened, he knew this dance, you don’t want to know how many times he stayed up to nail it. Really, I couldn’t even study because he was _always_ practicing it, I don’t think I’ll ever hear that song without thinking of it.” 

At his side, Hansol could only smile and wait. 

Seungkwan wasn’t paying that much attention to _him_ though, because he was getting more and more anxious by the minute. 

What if this was something serious after all? 

What if Chan needed surgery?

What if the damage was permanent and there was nothing they could do? 

However when his eyes landed on Hansol, he stopped himself, suddenly blushing.

He wasn’t sure why he felt so self conscious, but he did. 

“What?” He reached out to poke Hansol’s stomach, but his friend only squirmed a little, still smiling at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Nothing, it’s just… you know, you fight with him, like all the time.” Hansol explained, making a vague hand gesture. “You won’t shut up about him taking too long in the bathroom, or stealing your clothes, but you really have a hard time admitting how much you care about him.” 

“I _never_ -” He started, offended. 

“You’d rather be mad at him, than to actually express your concern.” 

Seungkwan crossed his arms against his chest, an argument at the tip of his tongue.

But deep down he knew Hansol was right. 

It was easier being mad than- 

“Because it’s easier being mad than-” 

“ _Shush_.” Seungkwan blushed bright red, he didn’t know if it was because they knew each other this well or if it was because Hansol could easily read his mind. “I get it.” 

Hansol still gave him a moment to gather his thoughts, respecting his silence. 

“Of course I worry,” Seungkwan mumbled, defeated. “How couldn’t I? He’s my baby brother.” 

This time Hansol sighed a little, guiding Seungkwan to a nearby bench and patting his back once they were both sitting. 

“You’re a great hyung.” 

Seungkwan’s heart skipped a beat at the sudden rush of emotion and pride, and he could only turn, slightly shoving him away. 

“You’re being so blunt,” He pouted. “What’s with you today?”

Well, he had always been blunt, it was one of the things Seungkwan liked about him, but still...

“I’m not lying, am I?” Hansol shrugged, a hint of a smug smile on his lips.

Ugh. 

How infuriating.

When Seungkwan was thinking of a way to retort, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, three notifications in a row. 

He pulled it out, worry settling on his stomach when he noticed it was his dad. 

Jeonghannie-appa ♡ 

_not a fracture, he’s going to be okay. we’ll stay until he can go, you two should go ahead and have lunch._ (17.23)

 _love you_ ♡ (17.23)

 _p.s. have fun with hansollie, but not_ that _much fun, okay?_ (17.24)

Oh my God. 

_Why_.

Did his dad really have to embarrass him? Even through texts?

Hansol nudged him gently, coaxing him out of his stupor and Seungkwan reacted quickly, not like Hansol would ever look at his texts, but he still feared that Hansol would catch that _have fun_ part. 

What would he even think?

“He’s… he’s okay, not a fracture at least.” Seungkwan sighed, trying to ignore his heart doing somersaults at his dad’s little teasing. “Guess I should go home…” 

Although for some reason he didn’t feel like it. 

His parents and brothers would wait at the hospital, but he’d be waiting at home for them to arrive? 

He felt relieved that Chan’s injury hadn’t been that bad, but he didn’t know if he could...

“You know what we should do?” Hansol elbowed him gently, perhaps catching Seungkwan’s sour mood. And Seungkwan relaxed a little at the gesture, even though Hansol hadn’t suggested anything just yet. “My house. Lunch. Ice cream. A movie. Just us two.” 

Seungkwan choked on his saliva. 

_just us two_ , who said that? 

“What, why-why would you make it sound like a date?” Seungkwan asked, pursing his lips, his cheeks burning as he weakly pushed him away. 

Hansol tilted his head. 

“I didn’t?” He replied, in that infuriating tone of his. 

Seungkwan wanted to scream into his pillow for an hour. 

Why _him_? 

Why out of everyone in the whole school, _this_ boy had to make him feel like this? 

“Fine!” Seungkwan replied, standing up, trying to ignore his heart, how it was threatening to burst from his chest. God, he liked him, didn’t he, he _so_ did. What was he supposed to do? “Whatever, let’s go!” 

Hansol just seemed to ignore his little outburst, instead just getting up to follow, a fond smile on his lips, as they both walked away from the hospital. 

***

After Seungkwan had let them know he’d be having lunch at Hansol’s, Wonwoo had also left the hospital. He hadn’t specified _why_ , but Jeonghan didn’t ask. 

He knew that Wonwoo did a lot of things when he was back home. 

He’d meet up with Minhyun, he’d go for a quick visit to Jeonghan’s parents too, and he’d also-and Jeonghan had heard this from Sojung and Sojung only-go and pay _The Angel house_ staff and kids a visit too. 

Jeonghan wasn’t surprised at all by that, Wonwoo was a family person, he had always been. 

The fact that he was keeping the last thing as a secret though… Jeonghan wondered if it had to do with Wonwoo’s reserved nature or maybe if it had to do with Wonwoo’s curiosity about his birth parents. 

Wonwoo had tried asking them once, when he was thirteen, but Seungcheol and Jeonghan had explained to him what a closed adoption was, so they couldn’t answer many of his questions. 

Then Wonwoo had _never_ asked again. 

“Jeonghan?” Seungcheol’s exhausted voice pulled him out of his thoughts and Jeonghan leaned back on the seat, looking from his husband to Soonyoung and Jihoon’s house, in front of them. 

After Chan had been cleared from the hospital he had asked them to _please_ go to Soonyoung’s, because he had something important to talk to him about. 

So even though it was almost eight pm and both Jeonghan and Seungcheol were hungry and exhausted, and it was getting chilly, they had complied. 

There were a few things that only Soonyoung could understand about Chan, and Jeonghan and Seungcheol would give their son privacy if he wanted to talk to his uncle. 

Especially after the day their youngest had had. 

“You okay?” Seungcheol insisted, when Jeonghan stayed silent. 

“There’s just… a lot on my mind, I guess.” Jeonghan replied, closing his eyes for a second. 

Seungkwan and whatever his deal was with Hansol, how hard he tried, and Chan and his accident and Wonwoo being an adult now, and Jeonghan wanted to help him too, but he had no idea what was going on through their eldest’s mind. 

Seungcheol reached out, giving his hand a squeeze in encouragement. 

It was enough for Jeonghan to speak. 

It was that easy, having his husband at his side, he could always talk to him and he’d always understand. 

“It’s funny because just this morning, I was thinking how it got so much easier.” 

Seungcheol tilted his head, but didn’t say a thing, just waiting for him. 

Jeonghan took a deep breath before continuing. 

“You know, Chan applied his make up all by himself, he didn’t need help with his costume or anything. And he has his friends to support him,” He explained. “And I’m _so_ happy he does, he was nervous, but not that much, I thought he looked so big today. A whole person, you know?” 

Seungcheol’s thumb gently caressed his fingers, his hand warm. 

“Seungkwan gave Chan that pep talk before the show, and then Wonwoo arrived, the three of them looking so independent and I couldn’t stop thinking how easier it got, how they could handle everything, they didn’t need our help anymore.” 

A beat of silence. 

Jeonghan could feel his chest welling up with emotion, luckily Seungcheol’s grip on his hand tightened a little, a grounding presence. 

“But you know, after seeing him so upset today, crying but not because he got hurt but because he failed instead, and Seungkwan just… struggling with who he is, all the time. And Wonwoo… I don’t think Wonwoo wants us to worry, and we don’t know if he’s going through something…” 

“Jeonghan…” 

“I could only think that it didn’t get easier, maybe it _doesn’t_ get easier. Ever.” Jeonghan ended, with a sigh, but also with a hint of a smile. 

He didn’t exactly know how to feel.

He’d _always_ be there for their kids if they needed help. 

They had decided that at the moment they decided to adopt them. 

He only wanted things to be a little easier on them, but seeing them struggle with _teenager_ stuff, and even worse, _adult_ things. 

It was overwhelming. 

He only wanted to protect them from this. 

Protect Chan from his insecurity, and Seungkwan from his low self esteem and Wonwoo from his selflessness. 

Jeonghan breathed out, trying not to get emotional over this, not when Chan could leave Soonyoung’s house any moment now. Then he felt it, Seungcheol going through the motions of reaching out to unbuckle his seatbelt and tugging on his hand until Jeonghan _finally_ got the hint and all but sagged against his husband’s chest. 

Seungcheol had always been better with actions than words. 

And Jeonghan had never been more thankful, nuzzling his face against Seungcheol’s neck, trying to burrow even closer, breathing in his familiar scent. 

It was comforting in a way he couldn’t even put into words. 

“It’s still so difficult. But we don’t get to help as much,” Jeonghan mumbled, the words tickling Seungcheol’s neck, because his husband shied away from a moment, to pull him even closer, running a hand up and down his back. 

It was a tight hug, and Jeonghan absolutely loved those. 

It was exactly what he needed right now. 

“We already did our part, baby.” Seungcheol whispered, pressing a kiss on his cheek. “We’ve raised them, loved them, and we’ll _always_ be there for them, but these things… it’s mostly on them now.” 

Jeonghan pouted, how could Seungcheol seem so calm about it all? Their babies were _so_ big. 

How couldn’t anyone make the time stop? Just for a day? 

Seungcheol seemingly couldn’t resist his pout, because he leaned in anyways, craning his neck to steal a proper kiss. 

“You’re always right, aren’t you?” Jeonghan asked breathlessly, when they pulled back. “My husband is so smart.” 

And maybe Seungcheol wasn’t calm about it either, maybe he was freaking out too, but he seemed so _sure_ right now and Jeonghan couldn’t help but to think of his words. 

They could only trust them now, and maybe getting to help here and there. 

But Jeonghan at least knew they had done everything in their power to raise them with a lot of love. 

And that was enough. 

They’d keep showing them that, until the day they died. 

“You rubbed it off on me,” Seungcheol said it pleasantly, smiling because he had made Jeonghan smile. 

So even though it had been a bit of a lousy day, and Jeonghan still felt like having an existential crisis over it all, in this moment it was just them, just his husband, so sincere and earnest, all of it to reassure him.

Jeonghan caressed his cheekbone lovingly, pulling him to another kiss in thanks. 

He had no idea what he’d do without Seungcheol.

And by the way Seungcheol held him so close, loved him without limits, he knew he’d never have to find out. 

***

Chan stood up in the doorway, not wanting to intrude on his Uncle’s dance studio. 

(Chan had stopped being shocked they had made their own dance studio at home… such workaholics). 

He wouldn’t enter, not until he got expressed permission. 

Not until Soonyoung stopped dancing. 

So he waited. 

Just as expected, Soonyoung didn’t stop performing (nailing all his dance moves and expressions), and only turned to the door, once the song was over. 

Chan didn’t recognize this one, so he suspected it was something for the upcoming album of the rookie boy group that would debut next summer. 

Jihoon and Soonyoung hadn’t shut up about how excited they were, and Chan usually would have asked, but… today he was here because of something else. 

Jeonghan and Seungcheol had let Soonyoung know he’d come here, and they must have let him know about his injury, but Soonyoung didn’t comment on it. 

At all. 

“Hi, Channie.” Soonyoung said cheerfully, reaching out for a towel to clean the sweat off his face. “What brings you here, baby?” 

And just like that, his serious facade was gone, so he crossed his arms, entering the room with an indignant expression.

“Uncle Soonyoung, I’m _thirteen_ , I’m most definitely not a baby.” 

“You’re always our baby, Channie.” Soonyoung said, without any heat. 

Chan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

Keyword _resisted_ , because he couldn’t anymore, and ended up doing it anyways. 

“Okay, whatever,” He dismissed, if Soonyoung would go with _baby_ , then he'd go without _uncle_. “So Soonyoung-” 

“Ah,” Soonyoung placed a hand on his chest, feigning offense. “What happened with uncle? Now that you’re thirteen you’re too cool for your Uncle?” 

“Basically?” Chan only pretended to consider. “Yes.” 

Soonyoung groaned as he had actually been hurt, even making a show of crouching down. 

So dramatic. 

Chan faintly wondered how Seokmin lived with all this drama everyday. 

(It did manage to make him smile though, even considering the lousy day he had had so far). 

“I actually wanted to talk about something…” Chan started, after a few seconds of silence. 

Soonyoung’s breathing had evened out and his own was starting to get a little ragged. 

He was upset, couldn’t help but hold his injured wrist, and he kept wondering why Soonyoung hadn’t said a thing about that. 

He couldn’t _not_ know. 

“I figured.” Soonyoung turned to him, giving him a small encouraging smile. It was like his whole demeanor had changed from one second to another, and suddenly Chan was reminded of why he came to him for advice. “What’s on your mind, young padawan?” 

Okay, maybe he could still go to Jihoon or Minghao. 

“A Star Wars reference…” Chan sighed. “Really?”

Soonyoung shrugged a little.

“Trying to keep up with the kids.” 

… 

Had he _always_ been so embarrassing? 

Well, he was already here, so he gathered his courage, looking down, trying not to waver under Soonyoung’s heavy gaze. 

“Am I…” He started, his throat suddenly dry. “Am I good?” 

He didn’t specify. 

He didn’t say _good_ _person_ or _student_ , because he came to Soonyoung for a reason. 

He had always looked up to him. 

Chan was only three, but he still remembered tumbling around the livingroom to follow Uncle Soonyoung’s dance routines. 

A good dancer. 

That’s what he wanted to know. 

Soonyoung stayed silent, as if he were expecting something else, but in the end, he just gave him a small nod, suddenly serious: 

“You are.” 

Chan pressed his lips into a thin line. 

Somehow that didn’t seem… 

“I’m not saying it because I adore you.” Soonyoung rushed to reassure. “Because you know I do. I’ve seen countless performances by kids your age, and believe me when I say, you are _really_ talented. There’s no dance you won’t pull off.” 

Chan looked down at his hands, chewing on his lip as his hand started to smart, he had been holding it up for too long. 

Silence reigned in the studio.

“You’re not worried about that though.” Soonyoung added, humming in thought. “So will you stop pretending now?”

He should have sounded cruel, or bored, or disinterested, but he didn’t. 

Soonyoung’s tone meant he wanted to get to the bottom of this and Chan tried not to crumble. 

“I…” He started again, his lips suddenly dry as he tried to speak. “I get compared to hyung a lot.” 

Soonyoung only stayed in silence, and Chan ran his good hand through his hair, trying to think. 

After the painkillers and the mess this morning, his mind was fuzzy, everything working overtime. 

He hadn’t stopped and now he was here, and Soonyoung was actually asking him to put _something_ into words. 

Something he didn’t quite understand himself. 

“Wonwoo-hyung was really good at everything, he was so popular at school...” Chan started, swallowing the sudden lump that had started to form in his throat. “He was always so cool, he still is. Jeonghan-appa and Seungcheol-appa will never shut up about how he’s the best son ever, and you know, he gets the best grades, even in college.” 

Even though he didn’t get a response, he knew Soonyoung was listening. 

So he continued. 

“Today when I was backstage, people were saying about how they knew I’d do well, since Seungkwan is my hyung, you know?” Chan mumbled bitterly. Of course he was happy about Wonwoo being the best student and Seungkwan being a great performer, but… “He always did well in this kind of stuff. He never failed.” 

Soonyoung only hummed so Chan chewed on his lower lip again, thinking if it’d be a good idea to utter the next words or not. 

“So… overall, if I get a good grade, they’re like _well done, Chan, just like Wonwoo-hyung_ and if I do this… this thing that I’m good at, that I love doing, which is performing it’s just like, _just like Seungkwan-hyung!_ ” 

Soonyoung raised his hand, as if they were in a classroom and he was the student. 

“Seungcheol-hyung and Jeonghan too?” 

Chan was quick to shake his head. 

“Not really… but I feel like, they do expect things from me.” He ended, eyes fixed on the floor. 

A few minutes of silence passed and Chan wondered _why_ Soonyoung had gone quiet. 

He was never a quiet person, so this was surprising to say the least. 

However, when he dared to look up, Soonyoung only took a deep breath, looking straight into Chan’s eyes. 

It was so piercing, Chan had to look away immediately. 

Soonyoung knew him too well, always had. 

“Nah, wrong _again_.” Soonyoung said simply, breaking the tense mood. “Now I do wonder why you’re dancing around this, just tell me the truth, okay?” 

Oh. 

_Damn_ , Soonyoung was good. 

Chan’s heart picked up speed, how could Soonyoung know something he didn’t even know himself?

It was scary. 

Soonyoung was the only person, in the whole world, that Chan could tease, bicker with, and in the next second, they’d be hugging, having the most deep conversations.

He didn’t think he trusted anyone else in the world the way he did with Soonyoung. 

“Okay… Okay,” Chan took a deep shaky breath, eyes brimming with tears, but Soonyoung didn’t reach out to comfort him, and Chan was glad. 

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to continue if Soonyoung pulled him into a hug. 

“A month ago… someone approached me at the station, they handed me a card. Wanted me to go to the tryouts… they wanted me to become a trainee.” 

Soonyoung only listened, giving Chan enough time to gather his thoughts. 

“I… I’ve always wanted to, but you know what my parents think of that… they say I’m too young.” Chan mumbled, his eyes traveling to his injured hand, it _hurt_ and it made Chan want to cry even more. “I… I didn’t tell anyone else, I didn’t go to the try outs either, but today I really felt confident with this dance and I was proud of it. And I… had forgotten about the whole thing. It was crowded, you know? People were filming and I thought, what if this is it? You know, what if someone sees this and they want me. I kept thinking about that and I… And I _fucked up_.” 

A sob. 

Chan started to sniffle but Soonyoung remained calm, waiting for him to continue. 

And he did, with a runny nose and shaky breathing. 

“It was… perfect when I was practicing it, you know? I was _so_ proud. I worked so hard.” Chan whispered. “But when I… when I was _there_ , the only time it mattered…” 

The rest went unsaid. 

Chan had tripped and fallen. 

He had almost broken his wrist. 

He had made a fool of himself in front of his whole school. 

He was so ashamed. 

“You didn’t come here for a pat on the shoulder and a _good boy_ , did you? You have Jeonghan and Seungcheol-hyung for that.” Soonyoung still examined Chan’s expression, even though he wasn’t phrasing his words as a question. 

It was a statement. 

Chan knew it was gross, but still reached out to clean his snot with his sleeve, looking into Soonyoung’s eyes. 

“So. Tough love it is.” Soonyoung decided, with a nod. “Hear me out then, kid.”

Chan snapped into attention, his tears stopping for once. 

“If you _ever_ think for a second you’re perfect, you’re _done_ as a performer.” Soonyoung said seriously. “You want to go to the tryouts? At age thirteen? You are having a hard time with failure, Chan. I don’t think you’re going to make it right now. You need to work hard, not hard, _harder,_ the hardest you’ve ever worked. You’re ready for that?” 

It was obvious that he wasn’t. 

He didn’t even need to say it. 

They both knew. 

“So after days like today,” Soonyoung sighed, making sure that Chan’s eyes were on his. “You fuck up, cry about it, get up, work your ass off and do better next time.” 

Chan’s breath hitched on his throat. 

“Clear?” Soonyoung’s voice was firm, and it washed all of Chan’s insecurities away. 

Chan could only nod. 

It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

Suddenly he was so glad he made the right choice and came to Soonyoung. 

“Good.” Soonyoung approached, pulled Chan in by the back of his neck and pressed a firm kiss on his forehead, quickly turning to his laptop. “Now show me a video of the performance, let’s see how you did.” 

***

A buzz. 

Somewhere near him.

Maybe it was a bug. 

A very insistent bug. 

Buzzing every three second intervals.

Sounding a lot like a call. 

Wonwoo kept his head buried in his arms, slowly waking up from slumber.

This didn’t smell like his dorm. 

Not at all. 

This was more like- 

“You fell asleep, baby.” Seungcheol whispered, placing his hand on the back of Wonwoo’s neck. 

A comforting touch. 

He was _home_. 

Wonwoo tried to blink away his sleep, rubbing at his eyes. He remembered leaving the hospital early, going to Minhyun’s to say hello and then deciding he was too tired to do anything else (he also needed to study), so he had come back home, waiting for his parents to arrive with Chan, having a very late lunch and then he just went to his room, settling on his desk, planning to do some reading and- 

“College keeping you up?” 

Wonwoo only hummed in response, trying to think of the time. 

He was _so_ comfortable and back in college, he just couldn’t nap. 

He could only do it at home. 

It was so tempting to just stay a little longer, closing his eyes. 

With Seungcheol still petting his hair, Wonwoo just buried his head back into his arms, willing to get a few minutes more, but then the vibration coming from _somewhere_ near him, snapped his eyes open again. 

“Your phone has been buzzing for a while now.” Seungcheol explained, still keeping his hand on his neck, Wonwoo would be lying if he said he didn’t miss the grounding touch. “Didn’t want to want to wake you, because you seemed tired, but um, it does look like it’s important.”

Wonwoo decided that this was a sign to get up. 

Also. 

(Maybe). 

A chance to address this. 

“Oh, _that_.” Wonwoo whispered, still half asleep as he blindly patted the desk, picking up his phone. “I think I might like someone.” 

It was out just like that. 

No blushing, no fumbling, no stuttering. 

Seungcheol let out a small sound, Wonwoo figured it was a gasp of surprise, but then he went silent.

And Wonwoo was thankful. 

The petting didn’t stop, so he was thankful for that too. 

He’d blush and fumble and stutter if he _were_ looking at Seungcheol. So it was better this way. 

“We’re not dating or anything… we haven’t even confessed. But I think we like each other… and well, we talk a lot too.” He explained, just now realizing how difficult it was to put it into words. “He makes me feel like… I’m really special, and the smartest person in the room.” 

His dad must have felt it was safe enough to sit next to him, but Seungcheol still didn’t meet his eyes. 

Wonwoo swallowed the lump in his throat. 

It was… _weird_ , talking about this. 

He hadn’t been in a romantic relationship before, and this wasn’t even a relationship to begin with, but still. 

He felt vulnerable. 

Luckily, this was his dad. 

He was right there to catch him if he fell. 

“That’s not true though, he’s older and he’s a TA, and obviously knows more than me, but still…” He trailed off. “It wouldn’t be appropriate if we dated, so we’re just… friends, I think. I just can’t… help but get all awkward when we talk, like I don’t know what to do with myself.” 

At his side, he could sense Seungcheol’s antsiness. 

He wanted to say something. 

Probably something like _keep him_ , because Seungcheol had always told him that he should be with someone that made him feel happy and special. 

But maybe Seungcheol’s silence had to do with the fact that he understood him. 

Wonwoo wouldn’t date Jonghyun. 

Probably he wouldn’t date him in years. 

But still. 

It was there. 

And it felt good to talk about this with someone. 

And Seungcheol was really being all cool-dad about this. 

“Okay, Wonwoo.” Seungcheol’s hand traveled from his neck, to his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Your dad is the only person I’ve ever been with, so don’t expect me to give great relationship advice, but I do know one-” 

Then he frowned, seemingly remembering something. 

“ _Wait_ , you said TA, right?” Seungcheol just seemed to catch up, searching Wonwoo’s eyes with an alarmed expression. “How old is he?” 

Wonwoo parted his lips. 

“Because if some creepy 35 year old is hitting on you, _you_ , who just turned 21 and are still my baby, I swear to God I’ll go there myself and kick some-” 

Wonwoo tried not to laugh. 

Okay.

Scratch cool dad. 

Back to embarrassing dad. 

(Also he had turned twenty one ten months ago, so he was technically closer to 22 than 21, but still…)

“He’s just turned 25.” Wonwoo corrected, with a smile, although he _was_ curious about the end of that sentence. 

“Oh.” Seungcheol said, seemed to process the information, and then nodded. 

Deemed the age difference was appropriate enough.

“Okay then, back to what I was saying,” Seungcheol resumed, but Wonwoo already felt better. Lighter. Like Seungcheol trusted his decisions either way. “You deserve someone who makes you feel special, you _are_ smart and kind and fun, and anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

Wonwoo finally turned to look at him, cheeks blushing, feeling a bit _young_ again. 

“You deserve the world, Wonwoo-yah.” Seungcheol reached out, pinching his cheek, and Wonwoo’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “And I’m speaking for your dad here too, nothing would make us happier, than seeing _you_ happy, okay?” 

And if Wonwoo buried his head back into his arms and cried a little at Seungcheol’s statement, then no one had to know. 

He was home. 

And he was safe. 

***

The day was finally catching up on Jeonghan when they made it back home. 

Seungcheol had gone to check on Wonwoo (Jeonghan figured he had fallen asleep studying with the lights on, as he always did), Seungkwan hadn’t arrived from Hansol’s yet, which left him all alone with their youngest. 

Chan had been quiet after his talk with Soonyoung. 

And Jeonghan couldn’t help but want to ask. 

Especially because Chan not only seemed thoughtful, but in a sullen mood as well. 

However Chan had been upset when Jeonghan tried to tell him he did well, so maybe it was best to just stay silent. 

So Jeonghan went through the motions of making an easy dinner. 

All of them ate a very late lunch, but they’d probably be meeting up for dinner once Seungkwan arrived back home. They always made sure to have at least one meal as a family when Wonwoo returned home, with all five of them present.

Chan just leaned on the counter, as Jeonghan cooked, or made an attempt at least. 

It was an awkward mood, and Jeonghan didn’t want to break the silence. 

He had the feeling Chan didn’t want to talk anymore. 

“Appa,” Chan’s voice was soft as he spoke, almost as if he were asking for permission. “Aren’t you going to ask how the talk went with Uncle Soonyoung?” 

Ah. 

His son knew him too well. 

So Jeonghan dried his hands on his jeans, leaned on the counter and gave Chan a soft smile. 

“How did the talk go, Channie?” 

Maybe Jeonghan was mistaken and Chan _did_ want to talk a bit more. 

Chan let out a small sigh. 

“It was… good.” 

Okay… 

It didn’t seem like it was good at all.

Chan’s expression was guarded, as if he didn’t trust himself to speak. 

So Jeonghan made what he thought would be the logical next step. 

He turned off the oven, silently headed to the sofa, and sat, patting next to him so Chan would join him. 

Talk or not, they should be comfortable. 

He expected Chan to ramble, get a little anxious about explaining his feelings, but no, what he didn’t expect was Chan looking upset as he approached, picking up a pillow, placing it over Jeonghan’s thigh, and then just dropping at his side.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what to do next. 

Jeonghan’s fingers started carding through his son’s hair, trying not to focus on Chan’s injured hand, how it rested against his stomach. 

It must hurt, even with the effect of the painkillers. 

“Appa… I changed my mind.” 

Jeonghan only waited, because Chan needed his space to figure these things out. 

“Can we not talk right now?” He asked in a whisper, burying his face more on the pillow, almost to the point Jeonghan couldn’t understand him. “Can we just.. stay like this?” 

Chan only snuggled closer to him, looking younger in the way he wanted to be held. 

Jeonghan could only comply, smiling down at their youngest. 

“Of course, Channie.” 

He’d maybe try to ask Soonyoung later on, how the talk went, but right now, it felt like Jeonghan could still help like this. 

With something as simple as a cuddle. 

And Chan must have been exhausted, because only a few minutes in, with Jeonghan’s constant caresses on his hair, he was fast asleep. 

His baby. 

He might be thirteen, but right now, head on his lap, fast asleep, a little pool of drool on Jeonghan’s jeans, he looked _so_ young, Jeonghan couldn’t help but marvel at how fast time had gone by.

Sleep must have caught up on him too, because one moment he was wondering about Seungcheol and Wonwoo taking so long and his baby Chan, and the next one he was awoken by the sound of the door opening. 

The front door. 

It was Seungkwan. 

He’d always drop his keys on the bowl, (he was the only one, the rest of them would always misplace their keys). 

Right. 

Seungkwan was with Hansol.

 _Again_. 

Which would be good if it weren’t for their current predicament. 

Jeonghan could only hope things had gone well today… 

“Are we in a snuggle session?” Seungkwan said from somewhere behind him, confirming Jeonghan’s suspicions when he ended the question with a dramatic sigh. Okay, things hadn’t gone well. “Because if so, I’m in.” 

Seungkwan crashed next to Jeonghan's side and Jeonghan silently wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in. 

Having his two youngest here made him think of the conversation he had with Seungcheol, just a few hours ago. 

_we’ll always be there for them, but these things… it’s mostly on them now_

Unlike Chan, Seungkwan was more open to discuss his feelings so Jeonghan waited a few moments, catching his son’s expression, even when Seungkwan was leaning on his shoulder.

He could see him pout. 

This kid was a carbon copy of Seungcheol. 

Cute. 

“What is it, Seungkwannie?” Jeonghan dared to ask, when it seemed that his son had settled properly. 

He was warm against him, and Jeonghan pulled him a little closer, being careful not to jostle Chan too much. 

“Boys are _dumb_.” 

Ah. 

_That_. 

Jeonghan tried to remember what it felt to be sixteen. 

Memories of a really dense sixteen year old Choi Seungcheol flashed through his mind, and of course, of Jeonghan’s heartful (embarrassing) confession back then, _i like you, how can you be so oblivious? Of course I like you!_

“That they are.” Jeonghan agreed with sympathy, patting Seungkwan’s shoulder. 

Seungkwan still sighed. 

Jeonghan’s eyes traveled to Chan, making sure he was still sleeping. 

He’d probably tease Seungkwan at first, but then he’d try to help. 

They had a relationship like that.

But still, Seungkwan seemed especially vulnerable today and Jeonghan didn’t want to put him on the spot. 

“What did Hansol do, baby?” He asked, gently patting his son’s thigh. 

“Just…” Seungkwan sighed. “Being himself I guess.”

Jeonghan gave him a moment. 

Just for the realization to get to his son. 

He was a smart one, he knew. 

“ _Yes,_ appa, I know.” Seungkwan pouted, reminding him so much of Seungcheol, that Jeonghan had no choice but to reach out and pinch his puffy cheek. “I like him, just because he’s all of those things.” 

“I didn’t say anything,” Jeonghan replied innocently, just to tease him a bit more. 

“Your dramatic pause was enough,” Seungkwan pouted even more (if that was possible), reaching out to hug a pillow against his chest and then lean against Jeonghan’s shoulder. 

Silence reigned in the living room. 

Jeonghan faintly wondered about his partner and oldest son upstairs, but he figured they’d be okay. 

Wonwoo did seem like he was hiding something and the best person to help him through that was Seungcheol. 

Which meant that these two, they were on him. 

Chan’s breathing had evened out a while ago and Jeonghan kept his hand on his shoulder, trying not to wince at Chan’s cast. 

Just remembering the _sound_ , as if Chan’s bone had snapped, it sent a shiver down his spine. 

He decided to wrap his free hand around Seungkwan’s shoulders, pulling him a bit closer. 

“Why don’t you tell him how you feel?” Jeonghan asked, voice barely a whisper. 

“What if he doesn’t like me back?” Seungkwan closed his eyes, with a tiresome sigh. “He’s like…What if he wants to be just friends?”

“If you’re not sure…” 

“I _am_ sure that he’d be lucky to be with someone like me.” Seungkwan crossed his arms against his chest, lower lip jutting out as he pouted. 

“Seungkwannie…” Jeonghan whispered, sensing some defensiveness on his son’s tone. 

“But, appa,” He whined, sounding younger and Jeonghan waited again, he really wanted to help, but he figured this was one of the occasions where he should stay in silence instead. “He’s like… my soulmate, you know? I’d rather have him as a friend for all my life, than as a boyfriend for a year.” 

The irony wasn’t lost on him. 

Once upon a time, Jeonghan had been a hopeless teenager, pining on his best friend. 

Things had gone well with them, (they _were_ married and with three kids), but what if they hadn’t? 

What if Jeonghan hadn’t confessed?

Or what if Seungcheol had said no? 

What if Seungcheol had said _we should stay as friends_? 

And he must have gone quiet and thoughtful too, because Seungkwan nudged him on his shoulder. 

“It… worked well for you, didn’t it, appa?” Seungkwan whispered. 

Seungkwan _loved_ to hear about their love story. 

Back when he was five and just arrived, Seungkwan begged for them to tell him this story so he’d fall asleep. 

(They had of course censored all the angsty details). 

But Seungkwan still loved it, he just loved _love_ , the way their other children didn’t. 

_appa, please tell me how you confessed to appa, please?_

“It did,” Jeonghan said, with a small smile, and he turned to hug his son a little tighter. This wasn’t about him. He just… needed to say to Seungkwan what he had wanted to hear back then, but couldn’t. A little push maybe. “You know, baby, I still remember the day you were nervous about impressing Hansol, it’s been, what? Almost ten years from that.” 

Seungkwan parted his lips, he didn’t think it had been that long. 

“You two are really close, your friendship it’s beautiful and I understand you don’t want to risk it.” Jeonghan explained. “The fact that you’re really close and have stayed together for all of these years, proves that your bond isn’t something that will break easily. You’ve endured many things. You can talk about things like these and come up with something together… and who knows?” 

“Maybe you’ll end up with a boyfriend.” He ventured. “Or maybe with a best friend.” 

As it was, fate, destiny, circumstances, theatricalities, both Seungcheol and Wonwoo showed up, his husband’s eyes landing on him as soon as he had entered the living room.

Seungcheol gave him a warm smile, unaware of what was going on in the living room. 

“Or maybe both.” He smiled back, feeling his chest warm with affection as he looked at Seungcheol. 

His husband tilted his head, looking adorable and confused, mouthing a small _what_ , but Jeonghan just kept smiling at him. 

“It’s worth the shot.” 

***

At the sound of a knock, Chan couldn’t help but sigh. 

He didn’t mean to be rude, but it had been a long day and even though the dinner had been pleasant and they hadn’t mentioned much of his mistake (Jeonghan-appa would say accident, but same thing), Chan was still exhausted. 

Part of that was thanks to the painkillers, but it had also been an awful day for him, the only highlights being his brief moment with Sungyeon and maybe his talk with Soonyoung too. 

And of course Wonwoo coming over all the way here. 

“May I?”

Chan’s internal debate of whether to have a _talk_ right now ended when he recognized Wonwoo’s voice at the other side of the door. 

He couldn’t possibly say no to Wonwoo. 

So he sat up on his bed, stopped brooding and placed his phone under the pillow, he had been anxiously going through his friends posts, trying to catch any comments on their performance.

_you guys did well!!_

_talented as ever_

rows of clapping emojis

_you guys worked hard!_

Chan hated it here. 

He didn’t appreciate empty praise. 

“Yeah, hyung, of course.” Chan replied, trying not to think about any of that. He really did want to enjoy having Wonwoo home. “Come in.” 

When Wonwoo did, he was quiet, he closed the door behind him, looked around with a small smile (probably because last time he had been here, Chan’s room had been a mess and now it was decent) and sat up at the foot of his bed, one hand resting on top of the covers. 

They hadn’t had a moment to talk, just the two of them.

And Chan didn’t know _why_ , but he felt nervous. 

“Hyung…” He started, wanting to break the sudden silence. 

He wasn’t good with them. 

Especially when there was so much to be said. 

Chan wasn’t a kid anymore, he knew he was the youngest of them all, and his uncles kept reminding him he was a baby, (well, his parents too), but he _wasn’t._

And Chan was exhausted, he was confused, and he didn’t want a pep talk, and well if Wonwoo-hyung was here because of that, then- 

“I’ve missed you, Channie.” 

Oh. 

That was… 

Really unexpected. 

Chan’s cheeks went a little red at that and he looked down, suddenly shy. 

“I’m happy I got to see you perform today.” Wonwoo added softly. 

Wonwoo’s gentle tone wasn’t a surprise. 

He had always been like that. 

Ever since Chan had been young, people always mentioned how Wonwoo was protective over him, always reassuring him. 

Things hadn’t changed, huh? 

“Thank you for coming, hyung. I’ve missed you too. A lot.” Chan whispered, taking a deep breath when he was done. He was so defensive these days, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it all. It also made him think he owed Jeonghan an apology, but… he’d need more time to process that. ”I’m just… sorry it was for nothing, you know?” 

He was trying not to think of it, but he couldn’t, the cast around his wrist was enough reminder. 

It hurt and it burned and Chan was still so _mad_. 

“Channie…” 

“No, hyung,” Chan sighed. “I’ve had it today, you know?” 

It was all coming back, the anger, the frustration, the disappointment. 

He just couldn’t help it. 

It was so raw, he had worked so hard. 

He didn’t deserve this. 

It was _so_ unfair. 

“Jeonghan-appa won’t admit I fucked up, but I did, I _did_.” Chan ran his good hand through his hair, breathing going heavy. “I… I learned the lesson, okay? Sometimes you just fuck up.” 

Both of them went quiet. 

Then Wonwoo reached out to pinch his stomach, tutting. 

(And effectively breaking the sudden tense mood). 

“Hyung’s away for a couple of years and you two start cursing on every conversation?” 

Chan couldn’t help but laugh, eyes watery as he took Wonwoo’s hand and laced their fingers instead, squeezing gently. 

This was Wonwoo-hyung, of course he was safe. 

“What did Seungkwan-hyung say?” Chan was way too curious not to ask. 

“That’s besides the point.” Wonwoo waved a hand, intending to focus on Chan and Chan only. 

Wonwoo’s smile was warm, giving Chan enough time to gather his thoughts. 

But after Chan’s little outburst… he wasn’t sure he had anything else to say. 

“You know I’ll support you, right?” Wonwoo’s soft deep voice interrupted his thoughts again and Chan looked up at him. 

And actually _looked_. 

Wonwoo had eight years on Chan, but right now, he felt like a close friend. 

More than his older brother. 

“Whatever you want to do, I’ll always support you.” Wonwoo assured him. 

And Wonwoo always poured his sincerity through his words, and Chan actually believed him. 

For a second Chan faintly wondered if Wonwoo actually knew about the conversation he had with Soonyoung, or maybe his parents had told Wonwoo that he wanted to be an idol. 

Who knew. 

But Wonwoo would be there for him either way. 

“Thank you, hyung,” Chan squeezed his hand again. Wonwoo was always so cold, the slight tremor present as ever, but Chan didn’t mind. 

Wonwoo laughed and pulled away, probably embarrassed by Chan’s sudden serious tone, but Chan didn’t let him. 

“I mean it, hyung.” He continued, his voice shaking with the intensity of it all. “You’ve… always been there for me, you never miss any of my performances.You even offered to pay for my dance lessons, you’re a great hyung and I love you.”

“Those aren’t the drugs talking, right?” Wonwoo teased, and Chan knew him so well. 

It was easy for Wonwoo to show his affection through different ways, but he got all shy when he received praise. 

So Chan made it a little easy for him. 

“Maybe.” 

Both of them shared a laugh after that. 

And maybe the painkillers were still kicking in, because after a few moments of comfortable silence, he yawned, barely managing to hide his open mouth behind his cast. 

“You should get some sleep.” Wonwoo said kindly, releasing his hand from Chan’s grip, patting his thigh. 

Then his eyes landed on the pill bottle on Chan’s bedside table. 

Those weren’t the painkillers he had been prescribed today, no.

Those were Chan’s sleeping pills. 

The ones he had been taking since he was ten, because he never did ‘outgrow’ the sleep problems he had as a baby. 

“Do you-” 

“ _Hyung_ ,” Chan whined a little, reaching out to take the pills, hide them from Wonwoo’s eyes. 

He still felt self-conscious about them.

No one knew he took them, except for his family. 

“Channie,” Wonwoo stated patiently. “It’s okay, you know. If the pills help, it’s okay to take them. I would never judge you because of that.” 

Chan looked down, chewing on his lower lip. 

“I was just going to ask what the doctor said… if you still should take them tonight, since you got the other painkillers too.” Wonwoo explained, gently and Chan felt a little silly because he still kept getting so defensive. 

He was a bit used to it. 

“Ah, yes… I shouldn’t take them,” Chan whispered, worried he might have made things awkward between them, _again_. 

However, by the way Wonwoo seemed to smile, patting his thigh again before standing up, Chan thought he was safe. 

Wonwoo was too kind for his own good. 

“Okay then.” Wonwoo walked towards the door, willing to leave and go to his room, but Chan felt he hadn’t thanked him enough, he should say more-

“Hyung…” 

Wonwoo stopped just as he had made it to the door, turning to Chan with a questioning look. 

Okay. 

Chan took a deep breath. 

“I just…” He started, still unsure. 

“I love you too, Channie.” 

The words were out of Wonwoo’s mouth, just like that, and Chan felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, Wonwoo always knew what to say. 

He could always make it better.

And the fact that Wonwoo _knew_ what Chan had meant. 

Maybe he was the best hyung ever and- 

“Also, be nice to Seungkwan.” 

Oh, _not that_. 

“ _Hyung_.” Chan whined. 

“Okay, okay.” Wonwoo conceded, laughing a little at himself. “I know you two like to pick on each other, be _nicer_.” 

His parents asked that all the time, but Chan and Seungkwan always ended up bickering anyways… it didn’t change now just because Wonwoo asked…

Or did it?

“Fine.” Chan only grumbled a little as he agreed, he couldn’t say no to Wonwoo, _damn it_. “Only if he’s nicer to me too!” 

“I’ll be sure to say the same thing to him,” Wonwoo conceded, a fond smile on his lips. “Now _please_ , go to sleep.” 

That seemed fair. 

Chan’s smile was equally as fond and he gently shifted, laying on his side as he prepared to sleep. 

“Goodnight, hyung.” 

***

When Wonwoo left Chan’s room, it was almost two am. 

Such an exhausting day. 

The first thing on his mind was go back to his room and get some decent sleep. 

Sleep he could only get at home. 

Wonwoo wouldn’t usually complain, but his roommate was not only up at weird hours but also really _loud_ , always messing up his sleep schedule. 

He guessed that was part of the college experience though. 

Wonwoo had also wanted to call Jonghyun, but between Chan’s accident, and then the talk with his dad and dinner. 

He’d probably be up by now, but Wonwoo didn’t want to risk it. 

He could wait until tomorrow. 

As he heaved another sigh, willing his exhausted limbs to _move_ towards his bedroom, he caught a faint light coming from his parents’ bedroom. 

And also for the first time tonight, the sound of rain pattering on the roof registered on his mind. 

Had he really been so caught up on his own head today that he hadn’t noticed how cloudy it was?

The rain just now. 

He didn’t know if it was a good idea or not, but when he started walking towards his room, his feet inevitably stopped, in front of his parents’ bedroom. 

Unlike with Chan, Wonwoo just gently pushed the door open, without asking. 

The sight that greeted him was Jeonghan in a sitting position on the bed, book on his lap, the lamp in his side on. 

Seungcheol’s side of the bed was still made. 

“Where’s appa?” Wonwoo asked, hiding a yawn behind his sleeve.

Jeonghan didn’t look surprised at all by his presence, if anything, he looked delighted and his exhausted smile made Wonwoo realize he had literally talked to all of his family members in private today, but Jeonghan. 

So Wonwoo stepped up inside. 

“Downstairs,” Jeonghan reached out to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Since everyone’s coming tomorrow he’s finishing up the project today with Minghao.” 

Jeonghan didn’t need to say it out loud, Wonwoo knew that Seungcheol wanted to make the best out of this weekend, considering Wonwoo was spending it with them. 

It made him feel so cherished, every time he came back home. 

How everyone would make sure to be there with him, to take him out to eat something or just to be available, it was nice. 

One of the best parts of coming home. 

Wonwoo couldn’t help but notice that his parents had started staying up for each other, ever since they came back from Jeju, years ago. 

Wonwoo wasn’t sure they had openly decided to do it. 

But it was like they had made the choice of being always there, reminding the other when to stop. 

So even though Jeonghan’s eyelids were dropping and he was holding the book in a way that made Wonwoo think he wasn’t actually reading, Jeonghan was still waiting for Seungcheol to go to bed, specs hanging precariously from the bridge of his nose. 

He wanted that kind of relationship. 

It was just so lovely.

Endearing in a way that made Wonwoo think about love. 

About Jonghyun and his family and his uncles. 

In all forms of affection he had been shown and given. 

So freely. 

“Can’t sleep?” Jeonghan asked gently. 

It wasn’t that in itself.

Yes, he had taken a nap, and he found it easier to fall asleep whenever he was at home, but with so many thoughts he just couldn’t quite go to sleep right now. 

And maybe, with the sound of the rain loud on his ears, there was a reason why he had stopped in this room in particular. 

“There’s a storm.” Wonwoo said instead, as a way of explanation.

He wasn’t five as he once was, and he wasn’t sure what brought that on. 

Wonwoo could see the moment the realization reached Jeonghan’s eyes,and then his dad was scooting to one side and- 

And patting the bed. 

“I’m like… a head taller than you guys.” Wonwoo started, albeit a little sheepishly. “I’m a third year at college, I have my own credit card, you know?” 

Jeonghan considered, smiling a little, probably thinking _you’re still our baby_.

“Yeah,” He conceded. “But… there’s a storm.” 

His own words against him. 

Wonwoo nodded, defeated (it _was_ two am and he was exhausted), and all but dropped face down on the bed, luckily remembering to take off his glasses before doing so. 

Back when he was a kid, recently adopted, he had been terrified of storms. 

He’d cry, crawl under the covers of his parents’ bed, until they made it all better.

Which they always did. 

The fact that today of all days, they were both reminded of that… 

A few minutes of silence must have passed, the covers were soft under Wonwoo’s face, the smell familiar, he was already sleepy, but there was something a bit embarrassing about sleeping in your parents’ bed as an adult… 

So Wonwoo willed himself to stay awake, even when he felt Jeonghan petting on his hair, the first tendrils of sleep starting to cloud his mind. 

“How is the semester going?” Jeonghan asked, and Wonwoo wasn’t sure what brought that particular question on, until he turned a little, catching Jeonghan was staring at Wonwoo’s hands. 

He had been biting his nails. 

Again. 

“Ah, that.” Wonwoo whispered. 

Wonwoo would _always_ bite his nails when he was under academic stress. 

He had done it, ever since he could remember. 

Unchanging. 

And of course Jeonghan had picked up on that. 

He was so observant, he knew him too well. 

“Is there,” Jeonghan started, voice soft, and Wonwoo always liked the way Jeonghan wouldn’t push him to speak out if he didn’t want to, it was always a question. “Anything on your mind lately?” 

There was. 

Doing well, missing home, applying to the TA position. 

Jonghyun.

 _Jonghyun_.

“A lot.” Wonwoo replied, and Jeonghan hummed in acknowledgment.

Wonwoo didn’t quite understand his parents. 

It was weird. 

With Seungcheol, he just blurted out whatever was worrying him, with Jeonghan, he just went quiet and let himself be pampered. 

Jeonghan’s words always managed to comfort him. 

He always _always_ knew what to say. 

Jeonghan stopped petting his hair, only to start rubbing his back up and down gently.

Wonwoo’s whole body had relaxed, and he couldn’t help but bury a little more in the covers, he was warm, the sound of rain distant now. 

“It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?” Jeonghan asked, but he wasn’t expecting a response, he knew it was. Wonwoo got easily overwhelmed, because there were a lot of things he wanted to do, and wanted to do _well_ : “We’re so proud of you.” 

For the second time today, his eyes burned with unshed tears. 

He was sure he could do nothing and Seungcheol and Jeonghan would still be proud, they’d still love him. 

But he still wanted to show them the best version of himself. 

“Whatever you do, we are, I am.” Jeonghan continued and Wonwoo hid a smile against the covers. 

Funny how Seungcheol and Jeonghan had talked to him separately, yet both of them had talked for the two of them. 

Such married couple behavior. 

After all of these years. 

“Now get some sleep, okay?” Jeonghan added, when Wonwoo didn’t reply. 

And Wonwoo was thankful, he didn’t really want to talk about his sleepless nights at college, the pressure to do well, the tests he had failed. 

He’d rather keep that to himself. 

And Jeonghan understood. 

However, something akin to embarrassment bubbled on his chest at Jeonghan’s suggestion. 

Children slept on their parents’ bed… Wonwoo was twenty one years old. 

(He was _taller_ than Jeonghan and Seungcheol). 

At the same time, it was so _comfy_ here, so warm. 

And Wonwoo was exhausted. 

“Only a nap.” Wonwoo decided in the end. 

He wasn’t looking, but Wonwoo knew Jeonghan was smiling when he said _yes_. 

“Only until appa arrives… then you’ll wake me up, yes?” Wonwoo asked, words already slurring, too exhausted to keep his eyes open. 

Jeonghan hummed. 

“Yes.” 

Okay, that was enough for him. 

Not even five minutes had passed, and Wonwoo had already fallen into deep slumber. 

(Also, as Wonwoo found out during the morning, Jeonghan _did_ lie and Wonwoo woke up at seven am, on his parents’ bed, squished between Jeonghan and Seungcheol. 

Wonwoo was infinitely embarrassed, but also well-rested). 

***

Breakfast was always eventful when all five of them were present.

Something about Wonwoo’s presence brought so much joy to Seungkwan and Chan-well, to all of them-that the house was suddenly livelier. 

Jeonghan wasn’t even sure how this conversation had started, but Seungkwan and Chan were at it again. 

“... so all things considered, I should make a solo next year.” Chan ended, his breakfast untouched, because apparently arguing with Seungkwan was more important.

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Seungkwan offered. “You really like being the center of attention, don’t you?” 

A snicker. 

Jeonghan wasn’t sure where it came from, but he knew Chan probably was preparing his next smart retort. 

“Where do you think I got that from?” Chan raised his eyebrows at Seungkwan. 

_Burn._

Ah, and here they’d start to banter even more. 

Except they didn’t. 

Both of them seemed to share _one_ look, as if they remembered something (Jeonghan couldn’t have known what), and they stopped quickly after that, changing the topic. 

It was surprising, and even though Jeonghan knew that deep down those two would kill for each other, they also bickered, too much sometimes. 

If anything Wonwoo seemed to _know_ something, because he was smiling a little, happy to see his baby brothers getting along, the way Seungkwan silently reached out and chopped some of Chan’s veggies, since Chan couldn’t do it with one hand. 

It wasn’t that much of an unusual sight, but it was a pleasant one. 

This time, Seungcheol and Jeonghan just shared a fond smile. 

It was nice, the feeling of being surrounded by loved ones. 

And the rest of their family hadn’t even arrived. 

(Somewhere around the end of the breakfast, Chan had reluctantly ended up admitting he was a bit jealous he hadn’t been invited to the movie night at Hansol’s-that’s why he was being exceptionally mean to Seungkwan so early in the morning-, but with Wonwoo serving as a mediator between a pouty Seungkwan and an embarrassed Chan, things had quickly been resolved).

It was easy like that. 

Just as any Saturday after performance’s day, their family started to pour in one by one. 

Junhui arrived from college, bringing out a cake he had made for Chan, then Soonyoung and Jihoon followed, bringing snacks for everyone, then Mingyu and Minghao, who were right by their youngest side in a second, checking up on him and his injury. 

Seokmin was the last one to arrive, apologizing profusely because he had been studying at home. 

And then they were all together. 

They all quickly understood that Chan didn’t want to show them the performance video, because he was ashamed, but they dispersed, catching up as they always did. 

Junhui and Wonwoo were undoubtedly talking about their college experience in a corner, both looking excited to talk in person. 

(Their colleges were miles away from each other, so these moments were rare). 

Seungkwan and Seokmin were nowhere to be seen, which meant they had scurried off to a random bedroom, probably to talk about teenager stuff (gossips). 

Chan was being pampered by a fuzzy Mingyu, as he lazily leaned his head on Jihoon’s shoulder. 

And then Seungcheol, an arm wrapped around Soonyoung and the other around Minghao, as he told them about how happy he was they were all here. 

Jeonghan observed. 

Took it all in. 

All the hardships yesterday, but also all those little moments of joy, having Wonwoo home, being able to help Seungkwan and Chan, sharing his worries with Seungcheol. 

And now, getting to share all of this, the good and the bad with their family. 

He couldn’t help but get a little emotional, eyes shiny as he decided he’d never _ever_ take this for granted. 

As if sensing his pensive mood, Seungcheol’s eyes suddenly searched for him, finding him in the kitchen. 

When he did, his husband tilted his head, confusion and worry mixing in his expression, and he knew what it meant. 

_everything okay, baby?_

Jeonghan only smiled, waving a hand so his husband wouldn’t worry.

Seungcheol smiled as well, nodded and opened his arms in invitation. 

Jeonghan’s heart was so full with love for his family, it was overwhelming, he almost didn’t know what to do with it, so he didn’t do anything, and he didn’t hesitate, walking towards his husband and joining in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KTD is back!  
> Thank you everyone for your patience and love for this AU in particular.  
> After the last chapter I wasn't sure I could come back to this series, but I'm happy I did, I hope this update meets your expectations! Can't wait to see what you guys think about it! (IT'S BEEN SO LONG OMG).  
> Thank you for reading <3


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